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Dear neighbor,

It is within my deepest regrets as to inform of you of such disastrous news. It seems that you have died, though you may not remember a single event. I, <insert cool sounding name>, your guardian, will be waiting for you at the midway's gates #333, at around 3:33 pm. We will then be proceeding onto the matter of residency in either heaven, hell or the in between, where you may choose to stay on earth or live along in the false one. Again, I am dearly sorry, for both your unforeseen death and due to my busy hands. Though I'm not aloud to give away your exact time of death, it seems the heavens have made an error.

So long, your guardian,
<name>

P.S please try not to burst in anger, the residents and employees like it quiet.

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