Canvas Hearts (now published so sample only)

Chapter 9

Chapter 9

Surprising to me, the following start to the morning turned into just another day for me and Gabe. There was no awkward moments. None of those odd pauses that contained unspoken words. We went along just like normal.

Admittedly, he touched me a lot more than he ever did before. He would make these delicate caresses against me as if he had to touch me. The way he stroked his fingers against the back of my neck made everything inside of me tingle with delight.

"Hey, Gabe, do you want to go to the dance?" one of his many girls who I didn't know the name of pranced over to us.

Instantly, my happy mood fell to the dirt. Was this the girl he liked? It was so hard to tell when he treated all of the girls the same. No matter how gut wrenching this was for me, I had to suck it up and act normal.

"We just started back at school, how can we have a dance already?" I rolled my eyes and the girl huffed at me.

"It's a special start of the year dance to welcome us all back," the girl defended the dance and I shook my head. "Anyway, Gabe, do you want to?"

"Sorry, Carla, but I've already got someone in mind."

Gabe's breezy refusal made me blink. He normally let the girls down with a compliment or by saying something sweet. This abrupt answer didn't sound like Gabe at all.

"Who have you got in mind?" I asked once the girl got over her pouting and moved away. "Are we going as storm troopers together? Or maybe we could do something else." My voice lost its enthusiasm when Gabe said nothing.

I knew his answer. He intended to ask the girl he liked. The one where I only got to fake date Gabe as a practice run. As much as I wanted to be angry, sad or hurt, the memory of that kiss hit me like a punch to the face.

"Why did you kiss me like that, Gabe?" ugh, I really did blurt that out to him. I wasn't sure what to expect so I squinted my eyes closed and received something unexpected.

"I wish you could see it, Holly. This is why I had to do it this way because you never open your eyes and see the truth. Damn, I just wish for once that you'd look at me and know me." He sounded so sad.

"What am I not seeing? Why would you say that I don't know you?"

His words hurt me. If I didn't know Gabe then I didn't know anyone. What exactly did he think of me? Now I'm confused, sad and only feeling worse. What had I missed?

Gabe sighed, scrubbed a hand through his hair and stared out over my shoulder. I hated that he wasn't looking at me. Why was he starting to distance himself from me? My realisation came that it had to be this girl he liked.

"Ignore what I said, Bear." He muttered.

"I can't when you think that I don't know you. Who do I know if I don't know you?"

The bell rang and Gabe sighed again. He walked away without answering me and my whole body dropped into a pit of despair.

Luckily, my next class happened to be a double period of art. I needed that release. My confusion, doubt and despair overwhelmed me as I began to draw.

Mrs P had decided to have more of a theory class today, right when I had a desperation for creativity. I had to put my sketch away and focus on her, which frustrated me.

I had this itching need that fuelled me today and I wanted to express it now. Today I had the worst case of it. For me, it was either paint or think about Gabe's devastating words. The former sounded as if it was less likely to make me cry.