American Woods

Side A, Track 8: Scolded (Stay Still)

"Scolded"

[AMERICAN WOLVES: Michaela Maya Watson • Jack Hectør Wolf]

You don't know me at all
Nor I will allow myself to let you in
You would back away, scolded
Like the other ones did
I breathed in before going outside
It's always a battle to make it out alive
Another day I'm pleading to get free

Keep loading the Messenger pages again and again

Waiting for a message of yours to light my brain

Keep thinking, "I should send him something"

But I'm also afraid of seeing your door closed to me

And I see my ghosts everywhere, all the "me"s that have failed

And I see my fears around this place, the prices I have paid

I start wonder if I'll ever receive a "hello" from you someday

And my mind creates paranoias about what you've been doing, babe

What you've been doing, where you've been going without me

And I start getting just a little bit nervous because I have this fear

Fear of rejection, fear of being left on the road for you or our friends

Fear of being left behind with all the things we did, the memories

And I know I shouldn't worry about it 'cause you said you'll stay with me

But nobody wins when my anxieties attack me, when I don't expect it

Nobody beats the way my mind gets fucking crazy about everything

Nobody calms me down when I doubt of every single thing I did

Locked up in a room, so I can write alone
Drowning every feeling, shushing every fear
Music everywhere, but my mind's louder
Pills subsiding in my bloodstream
Ah, i'm running out of my mind
This stabbing fear is the way I found
Of not going over any borderline

Anything is better than to be surrounded
By something that gets me haunted
Everytime I step away from the sidewalk
I feel like carrying the weight of the world
Looking side to side before closing the door
Once again, I'm stuck in the dark
I don't wanna hold anyone back 

I just try to find calm among the chaos
Violent tides collapse above my halo
But i guess I ain't no angel
Do you know how much it hurts
When you see your innocence get burned?
It burns like the bonfires I used to build
And their voices echo, "baby, stay still" 

You don't know me at all
Nor I will allow myself to let you in
You would back away, scolded
Like the other ones did
I breathed in before going outside
It's always a battle to make it out alive
Another day I'm pleading to get free 

I guess I gotta know I'm not the only one
But when the storms come, I'm alone
Most of the times, you won't even know
'Cause I'm good at keeping it to myself
Put some makeup, and you won't even tell
That I got it all wrong before you wake up
No one saw my tears, except for the walls

When the heartbeat of the city goes slow
The only sound is the wings of the vultures
Flying right above my head
Oh, here comes my worst nightmare
Don't take me for a sideshow
'Cause that's already my culture
I just feel like I've been too much exposed

You don't know me at all
Nor I will allow myself to let you in
You would back away, scolded
Like the other ones did
I breathed in before going outside
It's always a battle to make it out alive
Another day i'm pleading to get free 

Doesn't matter what you do
You can't get attached, 'cause you'll lose
"Baby, stay still"
It's easy to see, if you're not here
I just didn't want to be alone
Although I never came home
I walked away, facing the pouring rain

I'm trying not to surrender the pain
But I'm alone, and I'm out of novocaine
Don't leave, 'cause I can't even drink
I'll take my coat and go away
Unless you want me to stay
But you remembered I'm not okay
That's why i decided to leave 

You don't know me at all
Nor I will allow myself to let you in
You would back away, scolded
Like the other ones did
I breathed in before going outside
It's always a battle to make it out alive
Another day i'm pleading to get free