Helpless

North

"North, I need your help."

Markus going to the redhead for assistance with something was rare. She often resorted to violent acts whenever there was an inconvenience, so she was kind of a last resort. Once she got flirted with by some creep on the streets and she was threatening to fight him.

If it was not for Josh dragging her away from the older man, something violent would have taken place. North would've been the one to get out of it with less injury. She's just got a fight or flight response for pretty much everything, only it's 80% fight and 20% Flight.  Markus couldn't help but admire Norths strength - she hadn't had the nicest past, and it made him happy seeing how she didn't let her fears get to her.

North was very protective of her friends - especially Simon. He was always there for her, no matter what happened between them. Even after their worse arguments, they would be friends again the next day. Part of Markus is anxious of how she'll react to the news.

Will she even believe him? Josh is a very peaceful character in their lives. It's only behind closed doors does he show his true personality. She'll ask for proof. She must ask for proof, right? Or does she trust Markus? He'd be disappointed if she completely didn't believe him.

He's still shocked at the fact it's been going on for so long and she didn't realise. If she did and she kept quiet about it, he would be mad at her. Simon needed help. He has done for so long..

"What's up, Markus?" Her voice pulls him back to reality, pushing his thoughts to the side as she looks at him expectantly.

How does he put this?
'Hey, our best friend that we thought was really nice and caring is actually an abusive psychopath and he's hurting Simon and we've both been too blind to see it but hey! Si told me. What do you think we should do?'

Yeah right.

"..It's about Josh and Simon." He was obviously putting a lot of thought into what he was going to say, North knew this and she gave him time to process what he was thinking, a slight tilt of her head implying she was ready to hear more.

"Simon told me that Josh hurts him." He says quietly, worried that Josh could just be anywhere. He wouldn't be surprised if there were cameras in the house to be honest. He found himself trailing off a lot. His hesitation caused him to falter and his sentences were failing. He didn't know how to say it.

"..He said that.. he.. Josh just.."
Markus was never lost for words - Why now? Why on one of his most important conversations he might ever have?

"I know."

"What?"

"I've always known.." She sounded ashamed of herself. The way she couldn't bring herself to look at Markus meant something but he couldn't put his finger on it.

"What do you mean?" He couldn't tell what he was feeling. Was he angry? Yes. She'd not done anything about Simon getting hurt. Was he disappointed? Yes. He was confused. He was worried. He was feeling so many emotions it was almost too much for him.

"One night," She pauses, sighing and looking up at Markus, Crossing her arms.
"I was going down to get a drink, but they were arguing in the kitchen so I stopped outside the door to listen - I know I shouldn't but.. Markus you should've heard the things that he said to him.. He was awful. Shouting and swearing at him. Calling him disgusting and a whore. He hit him. So many times before Simon stopped speaking. He stopped crying. Stopped everything- he just let it happen."

Markus stares at her, unable to actually speak as North stands in front of him, wiping her eyes with the back of her hands because the mere memories brought her to tears.

"It just.. it reminded me of back then. It reminded me of those men and I know how much help he needed because I've been there, but I was too scared to do anything.. I ran back upstairs and I didn't mention it. It never stopped.. I just.. I just thought if I ignored it I could pretend it never happened." Markus knew she didn't forgive herself. He knew she hated herself for not helping.

North used to have things going on with dangerous people. Josh got her out of it. She couldn't do anything to him, not after he saved her from that. If she knew he was just like them she'd have never trusted him in the first place.
"I'm sorry Markus- you can disagree with me for not doing anything I understand, I should've helped him I just.."

She was rambling now, Markus sighs, pulling her into a hug and looking down. She had to calm down. It wasn't her fault. She could make up to Simon now by helping Markus change josh. Markus was trying not to hurt Josh but he didn't know how long he could go being peaceful towards him.

He wants their Josh back. He wants peaceful josh who would never dream of hurting them. Josh who loved Simon and cherished him like he was the best thing the world had to offer. In markus' eyes, he was. He is, the best thing the world has to offer. He loves him more than anything.

"It's okay, North." Markus says quietly when he hears North trying but failing to quieten the sound of her own crying. He realised now, her intimidating personality was not bravery and overcoming her fears.

She was always defending herself. The slightest thing happened and she got scared she had to protect herself. She didn't speak out about josh because she was scared.

"So what do we do.?"

"I don't know yet."