Villain deku- you can't be a hero.

How long?

A/n: so ive been sick for about two weeks now, and I'm steadily getting worse. Like worse as in I literally had an asthma attack for the first time in 5 years. So if I don't start getting better, I might have to go to the doctor, which I avoid because it makes me remember the bad asthma times. Back when my parents smoked, and I had to be hooked up onto a machine to administer medicine just so I could breathe. Jesus fucking Christ I'm a sob story.

Anyway
New info on narration
So I kinda ramble, so the narration may be a bit much, but keep it in mind that I do have somewhere I'm going with it, ok?

Izuku pov

The day after I was raped for the first time, I was left alone. No one came in, not even for food. Not that I would have eaten it if they had. I was disgusted, enraged, saddened. That monster took the last thing I had. He took my virginity. Not that I had the innocence to accompany it. I was nothing, would never truly recover. Being taken my them, destroyed me. If the hero's had found me, just a day before it happened, even an hour before, I might have been able to recover. Yet, there I was, abused, tortured, raped, and no hero in sight. No police officer, no friend, no parent, nothing but myself, and my self hatred. And in my time alone, I found myself wondering, were they even looking for me?

Police department pov

"So the kid has a history of bullying, but he was never diagnosed with depression." Naomasa was briefing the other team members, "another reason we have to believe he was kidnaped is that a body was never found." The other officers thought that they were being led on a wild goose chase, that this kid was a lost cause. I mean, two leads in a month? With every passing day, the probability of him being dead increased exponentially. And chances are if he isn't dead, he's probably being used by villains as a human lab rat. "Now our only leads are a sighting on the day of him going missing, and an abnormality in his bedroom. First was a woman who saw the kid on top of a commercial building, but she didn't see what happened after. The other, is that his most precious possessions, his 'hero journals' were missing from his room. Now we don't know what happened to the journals, but we do know that they weren't found in his trash, or hidden in his home." Nothing about the case made sense. First he says kidnaped, then he points out missing journals? If anything that'd be a runaway. "Now I know what you're all thinking, but I assure you, this kid isn't a runaway. The previously mentioned journals, weren't brought to school with him that morning. Classmates of his said that he only had a few books on him that day, While he had over fifteen journals." With that information, the officers were only more confused. Why on earth would kidnapers want a bunch of journals?

Return to izuku pov + timeskip

After my day of solitude, I was returned to my routine of being tortured daily. It was round the clock pain for two whole 8months. Toga cut, Dabi beat, and shigaraki molested. Over and over again every day for two months. Somewhere along the way I lost my voice, and began to have a tolerance for the pain. So at the three month mark, they asked again. "Join us, be a villain." And I had lost my will to refuse.

The only problem with me becoming a villain in the league was that I really feared them, and they had even irreversibly mutated my body. As a way to help me cope, (and hide from heros) the gave me a quirk that allows me to change my 'gender' (physically and emotionally) and minor appearance traits, like hair color or the distribution of my body fat. The real reason it helped was because I didn't have to see what remained of my male body anymore. I never did recover from the rape and torture. To this day, the sight of a male body gives me panic attacks. Anyway back to what I was saying, I was a villain. And with that began my work and training.

Blue moon was a living nightmare to train under. She had me practically fainting every night by the time training ended.
They had originally wanted me for tactics but, with the mental state they put me in, I was less than fit. But in time, I would be good for on the spot operations. The plan was to train me, and trust me they did, then once I could defend myself, put me on the sidelines of every battle. First it was a string of robberies, I wasn't needed, but I kept my cool. Next, would be an attack on UA.

"Izuku," shigaraki said, "this is going to be a major operation. Make sure you have a every student in this classes quirk memorized." — Which brings me to my second quirk, a perfect memory, like every little last detail, of everything. If I can see it, only for a second, I can remember it. The only drawback is that it deteriorates me mentally, so from time to time they have to remove some of the more useless memories. Or in other words the good ones.— I nodded in response, I
didn't talk much those days. After loosing my voice for nearly a month, I had learned not to use it unless necessary. But being an actual villain was sort of, easy... not to say I had been one for long, I mean, I had expected what I was doing to be on my conscious but.. it   wasn't. I was stagnant, frozen in time, like a fossil, forgotten. I still wanted to be saved, but I also had begun to doubt that I could be.

Now that the looming threat of attacking kids, I was assuming in my age group, was utterly disgusting to me. And with my memories of life before being captured so fragmented, I couldn't piece together what was making me so upset that it was UA that I was attacking. This fight, was going to either create a great villain, or destroy a child.

Why me?
How much longer will I even be me?

A/n
Aaaaaand a cliffhanger. This chapter was hard to write. For real I couldn't think of how to do it. I think I did just fine though. Anyway, this is where the reader comes in. Do you want deku to be caught by hero's there or nah? I do have four possible endings planned out, and they are all drastically different.

So comment yes for caught by hero's, or nah for making it out with the villains!