teared • hyungwon

f o r t y

    •    

"who is nam gun?" he looked serious, leaning against the door. he waited patiently for soon's anwer to arrive.

she swallowed hard. "it's... chae hyungwon- w-well, one of his identities."

kihyun sighed exhaustively, shaking his head in disapproval. "why are you still talking about him? he's not your patient anymore." he said approaching her bed side.

she stared at him with confusion. "i can't leave him like that. he's my patient."

his lips were pressed together in a thin line. it seemed he was trying to come up with a nice answer, in a way that he wouldn't hurt her feelings.

"he's a danger to you and to others. you can't keep seeing him." he finally said, caressing her arm.

soon shook her head. "i can't give up on him or any of my patients for the matter, i don't care if they're or not dangerous. it is my duty to help them."

"what if he doesn't want to get helped?" kihyun asked, his eyes widening and his tone raising.

soon swallowed hard. "everyone need help at some point... i've seen it kihyunnie- i've seen it in his eyes. he's close."

kihyun looked tired and with reason, he's been helping soon around for the past two weeks. he's been taking care of her like a wounded bird.

she was feeling better of course but the nightmares remained. especially that night, when kihyun stayed up reading one of the books he'd read every night before going to bed. it was around 11 p.m when soon woke up violently shaking on the bed, bathed in a sticky cold sweat.

"what it is? what happened?" kihyun's worried voice echoed inside the room as he threw the book away, his hands looking desperately for soon's face.

she sat up on the bed, holding onto the thick quilt as she tried to find some air to breathe. "he was- t-trying to kill me – she muttered, crying.

kihyun frowned as he brought her close to his chest, caressing softly her tangled hair. "it's okay. it was just a nightmare." he whispered closely to his ear.

she nodded, holding now onto the soft fabric of his washed t-shirt. the comforting mix of smells, bath gel and perfume, brought her reassuring memories.

with kihyun, she was safe.

the next few days remained the same. but her wounds were almost gone, she could eat everything and swallow perfectly. the headaches were long forgotten and she'd only have one or two nightmares.

but a curious one kept appearing. it was her, back in her university years. she was walking carelessly down the hallway, her clumsy arms carrying books and as she was listening to music, her heart would beat faster at the feeling of being watched.

the hallway would be deserted but she'd feel someone's eyes on her. she'd stop in the middle of the place and remove one ear bud as she looked around, trying to find the source of her despair.

but the hallway would be completely empty.

the eerie feeling remained as she hurried herself out of the building and she would turn around and look at the doors. a long, tall shadow stared back at her from the inside and her blood would turn cold and her knees would grow weak.

she knew the feeling, it had happened before. and it was a recurrent nightmare, a one that she would keep having and that was as disturbing as the memories of what really happened, in the past, years ago.