Why I keep secrets

Chapter 1

 'No should feel like they don't belong'. I hear the guest speaker at my school say. I sigh as I fill with boredom. Why do we even have these anyway? It's not like anyone cares about me they just pretend too. Ugh, I can't wait for this to be over. I'm snapped out of my thoughts as I hear people clapping. Finally we can go, get out of this assembly. I stand up and walk with my class back to girls locker room. I get my black jeans and Halloween shirt and walk into a bathroom stall. Hey just because it's the middle of April doesn't mean I can't wear a Halloween shirt. I change and go to meet my friend, Sheldon, like from the Big Bang Theory. Only he isn't a nerd who has an obsession with science and whatever ever the show is about.

"Hey, Luka how was the assembly?" Sheldon and I have been since 6th grade and now we're seniors in high school.

"I didn't pay much attention you?" He nodded and looks of in the distance. Sheldon is weird like that, like once he focuses on something he can't look away until he tells someone.

"Okay spill it, what are looking at?" Giving him an annoyed tone.

"Your crush Luka." I immediately hide behind him. I have a really big crush on them.

"Is she really here?" I really hope she's not, I mean she the most kind girl I have ever meant. I don't mean to get all lovey dovey, but gosh she's amazing. We have every class together but P.E. I wish I had every class with her. Geez I'm really gay, yeah if you can't tell or are just blind I'm pansexual, but the again a lot of people don't know what that means so go look it up if you don't. Anyway she walks over to us and I put on my poker face. I'm known as the tough emoish girl. By emoish I mean I don't dress like it but I listen to all the music, my favorite song is Welcome to the Black Parade by MCR. She walks back up to us and smiles.

"Hey guys did you like the assembly?" Her eyes shimmer in the sunlight.

"Yeah, it was really...inspiring" Well there you go Luka you blew it. She'll never like you even she a friend. Just fantastic job there Luka.

"It really was, you ready for Math test Luka." Oh shoot! I totally forgot about that shoot and finals are soon! Ugh, I'm going to have fun when I get home.

"Yeah, I'm ready." She gives me a suspicious look.

"You forgot didn't you." Before I could answer the bell rang and we head to Lunch. Huh, lunch where you can eat with friends and study for test you forgot about.

"I'll be in the library, see you guys." I turn and head in that direction.

"Bye Luka" Shellisa waves as I walk away. I walk into the library,sitting down, and pull out my Math textbook. Popping in my earbuds and turning on Panic! at the Disco on Spotify, I get to work. After what felt like 5 minutes the bell rang. Great this will be fun, I am doomed. I walk to Math avoiding any eye contact. I take my seat when Shellisa walks in and sits in front of me. The whole period all I can think about is her. Of course it will never happen no matter how much I wish, it just won't happen. Thankfully the bell rings signaling that I can finally be done failing and go home. I say goodbye to Shellisa and go over to Sheldon.

"So, when are you going to ask her out?" Stop stop stop it right there. Hold the phone, what?! He really thinks that I'm that confident. Nope that's not happening!

"Um never" Seriously who does he think I am. Furthermore, if I came home with a girlfriend my parents would flip out! I would get kicked out of there in about 5 seconds after I came out.

"Oh that's right your parents" yeah no duh genus, YOU FRICKING KNEW THIS! "You're going to have to come out sooner or later or else your gravestone going to say 'Luka, the on who never left the closest.'"

"Ha ha I we get it Sheldon, I'm a loser who alone because I'm Pansexual" I start walking towards my house. I put my earbuds in and walk home alone. This is my only alone time, when I get home it's homework, chores, eat, shower, bed. Its for my safety. I open the front the front door and see my dad in the kitchen and quietly walk too my room to loud.