• Imperfect • YBN Nahmir •

• 9 •

• Addison •

I told him what happened, and let's say he wasnt happy about it either.

"She gone pay for this" Nahmir said pulling out his phone. I quickly put my hand over it and tried to prevent from saying anything.

"Addison, I can't let her hurt you and get away with it. I belong to you not her" he said and i sighed.

"I understand that Nicholas but she always gets her way, and if theirs one time she doesn't she'll literally kill" I said and he waved me off.

"Addison I care about you, and I want to be something special in your life so bad but I can't simply do that if she's trying to break you down" he said and I chuckled.

"How am I gonna defend myself, because you know that's the first thing she does... is fight" I said and he scrunched up his face.

"No that bitch basically jumped you, she most definitely not getting away with it" he said and I face palmed myself.

"I don't know how to fight, I don't know how to use a gun a knife a nothing" I said and he smiled.

"I'll teach you then" he said and I shook my head. "No"

"Why not? I promise i'll teach you babygirl" he put his arms around me.

"Nicholas... You don't have to" I said and he took a deep breath. "But I want to"

"Get off my phone!" I heard Amari yell and heard a door slam.

Nicholas and I were in my room btw.

"Your such a bitch" I looked at Nick and he looked at me. I reached for him and he pulled me into his arms.

Amari walked into my room and laid on the bottom on my bed. She didn't say a word and just put her face into a pillow.

"Amari ?" I asked sitting up and tapping her shoulder. She looked up at me and had a blank facial expression

"There's a video of the fight everywhere, and people making memes of it too" she said grabbing her phone and showing me everything. I grabbed her phone and laid back on Nahmir while watching the video. He moved my hair out of the way and watched it.

When the video ended I just handed her back her phone and got up off of the bed and walked into the bathroom. I locked the door and jumped up onto the counter and looked at myself in the mirror.

I could hear Nahmir and Amari talking but I paid no attention to what they were saying.

"I'm gonna help her"

He can't help me, obviously.

I just stayed in the bathroom til he left, and when he did I went into my room and locked the door.

• Saturday •

Amari and her mom left, so I was home alone. I grabbed my phone and put it on the charger. I left it there until it came on and my phone had over 10,000 notifications. I went straight to "Musi" and went to my Trippie Redd playlist.

"Deeply Scared" played through my speakers as I slowly stripped myself naked watching over every feature that was exposed to the air. I walked over to the long mirror in my room and roamed my hands over my curves and sighed.

"You been scared too deep, I can tell, I can tell, yeah I can tell" I mumbled moving my hips a little.

I do this when i'm alone, I try to get more comfortable in my skin so I will be able to help myself with anything.

Obviously, it hasn't helped.

I walked into my bathroom and turned on the hot water in the bathtub. I went into my cabinet and grabbed a little baggie full of many different things. I put it beside the tub and went and stoped the bath water and got in.

The hot water stung my foot but I continued to get into the tub, once I was fully in I laid back and slid into the water. I held my breath, trying to kill myself but I came up from under the water breathing heavy trying to catch my breath.

Once my breathing was back to normal I grabbed the baggie looking through it finding  my blade. I look at the faucet with the blade in my hands.

"You don't deserve anything good, your worthless, your stupid, your ugly, and you most definitely don't deserve Nicholas Simmons" I said cutting myself each time on my wrist and when I came to the last statement about Nahmir I dug the blade in my skin and threw it across the bathroom.

I burst into tears, I didn't know what else to do but cry. The blood was dripping into the water turning it red. I put my head on the wall and tried to stop myself from crying.

I heard a soft knock on the bathroom door but I didn't respond. I was breathing heavy, bet the person on the other side could hear me.

The door knob jiggled and it opened revealing Amari's mother. I could see the hurt in her eyes as she looked at me, she wanted to cry.

"Sweetheart, when you feel comfortable... please come talk to me. Amari isn't home right now, it's just me" she said. She then walked out of my room, I could've sworn I seen a tear roll down her face.

I looked up at the ceiling and closed my eyes.

Ya girl been busy🤦🏽‍♀️ but imma start updating more because i'm goin through a lot and writing is helping me.