Deviant Behavior (Connor x Reader)

Lost Frequencies

November 8th, 2038
AM 02:31:10

There hadn't been an exchange of words since Connor's outburst.  You both had simply walked inside, and then you'd left him to collect himself, going to your room to get changed...

Dry clothes were a blessing.  To feel the cloth caressing your skin; no longer tainted by rain, sweat, snow...it was a brief respite from the maelstrom of disturbed atoms colliding in your head.

It was still dark inside the apartment, save for the welcoming glow in the living room.  A small sun that broke through the bleeding light contamination of Detroit's nightscape.  The heat from the lit fireplace searched for a body to warm; but outside, snow fell like ashes on the man standing on your balcony.

Frost clung to his jacket; leaving a thin, icy pattern as if he was trying to blend in with winter itself.  He had his elbows balanced on the railing, his head switching directions along with the coin trading hands. He caught it between two fingers, and gazed at the stars as delicate snowflakes peppered his hair.  The quarter paced up and down his knuckles as he watched the night sky, crossing his ankles and leaning into his free palm for support.

You pulled your boots over your bare feet, sighing as you prepared yourself for a hard conversation.  You couldn't leave him to suffer alone; not in good conscience.  And you didn't want to, but part of you wondered if he'd be better off without your input.

The sliding-glass door resisted at your first yank, but you mustered through the irritating tension in your stomach as you put your body into it.  You stepped into the powdered snow, sealing the glossy hatch behind you.

His head turned in your direction.   Most of his face was hidden by his shoulder, but he still seemed haunted by what'd happened.

"It's late." He mumbled, "You should go to sleep.  It's not healthy to-"

"I've been working 16-20 hour shifts since the city started falling apart, Connor."  You tried to smile, but ultimately failed, "I wouldn't be able to sleep even if I tried."

"Do you typically have trouble sleeping?" He looked at you through dark circles of his own.

"Mhm..." You crossed your arms, leaning next to him, "Mostly due to nightmares, but...What can you do, you know?"

Connor tucked his coin in his pocket.

He gripped the railing with both hands, his head sinking between two hunched shoulders, "When I stayed overnight, and you fell asleep on the couch...Did you...Did you sleep well, then?"

The question struck you as odd, but you figured he had a good reason for asking.

"I did." You shifted your weight, "I felt...safe."

"What made that night different from the others?"

You bit your lip, contemplating how close to "the line" you wanted to stray.  He was so lost.  There wasn't another word for it.  Turns out, you cared a lot less about crossing the line than dismissing him.

"It's because you were here..." You choked down an unexpected surge of emotion, "...With me."

It was the truth, and he needed a dose of transparency right now.  A defenseless act of confession, just to let him know you were as vulnerable as he was.  That he wasn't alone in dealing with the confusing aspects of life.

He lifted his chin, straightening his back.  You huffed under your breath, eyeing up his height – his build.  It wasn't a mystery as to why he brought a feeling of security whenever he was around.