Love the Way You Lie

KevEdd

Why do I love him so much? Why can't I just find the will to just leave? I don't deserve this, but it hurts to think about life without him. It hurt know just being with him. Things used to be so great. What happened?

Currently, I am in the kitchen. Shaking slightly, and trying to cover my sobs. He was upstairs, taking a shower.

Oh, that reminds me. I need to set out some clothes for him. But what if he comes out and see's that I have yet to do that? Oh dear, I am quite troubled.

But I decided to go ahead and do it. I wiped my tears and got my breathing under control. I began to slowly make my way up the stairs. I could hear the shower going and it seemed as though he wasn't near finished. Once I opened the door to our shared room, I could hear him opening the shampoo bottle, and I could hear him squirt some onto his hand. Then place it back.

I smiled. I don't know or understand why. He has caused me so much distress over the last two years, that it wasn't even funny. I hate how he does this to me. But yet I love him. I remember back when we were kids, and I would get beaten up. But that was only for popularity reasons. Plus, back when we were kids, he would at least come back and apologize. Even if he was forced to by his father, and his hits were never so, out of rage. Know, however, well all I can say is it just hurt.

I walked over to his side of our dresser and opened the drawer labeled, underwear. I pulled out some briefs, socks, and a green top. Next, I bent down to the second to bottom drawer labeled shorts. I pulled white basketball shorts. I refolded all of it and placed it neatly on the bed.

At that moment, I heard the shower stop and the curtain open. Oh dear, I walked as quickly and as quietly as I could. I didn't want to see him, and usually, he didn't want to see me. It almost always ended up with us in bed. Making love without the love.

At the least I could say is at least he wasn't out with others. This I always tell myself, when he is on top of me. At least I wasn't ignored sexually like most people in my place. I was thankful for that.

But I often wondered what happened? Where did the love and passion go?

Once I closed the bedroom door, I heard the bathroom door open. I sighed softly, happy that I wasn't caught.

Oh, wait. I can't be at ease yet. By know, I should have had dinner finished. Think Edd. Think, wait. I could just say I thought about just picking up something. No. I can't.

I sighed slightly, tearing up. He would most likely say that I'm just lazy, that I don't care for what he's provided for me. Even though it is split evenly.

I work as a scientist, while he works as a mechanic. So we were always stable financially.

His footsteps could be heard coming down the stairs. I could almost feel myself shaking. What would happen now? Well, two out of three possibilities would happen.

One, I would get hit more. Two, he would make me have sex with him. The third only happened on the rarest occasions. It was that he would shrug it off and go watch tv.

"What's for dinner?" I jumped slightly.

I looked at him and then back down. I gripped my baggy shirt nervously. "O-oh well i-it s-seems a-as though, i-I have for-forgot t-to make it...?" I closed my eyes, expecting the worse.

Nothing came, so that was a good sign, right? But then I could practically feel his smirk. Oh, my. Oh well, might as well accept this.

I felt him wrap his arms around me. I shuddered. His touch, no longer with love, was rough and hard.

"I know of a way you can make it up." His voice. Even his voice had changed.

"H-How c-can I-I?" He liked it when I played the innocent. My guess, was cause he likes to feel that he took it again. Cause mine was lost long ago.

He smirked and forced me down to my knees. He slid his shorts and briefs down slightly and pulled out his member. It was hard, yet limp.

"Suck." He stated. He smirked looking down at me.

I did as he said keeping eye contact. Kevin never really like teasing. So I took him in until I couldn't, but that cut of my breathing. Know I have to wait until Kevin bucked his hips, or until he grabbed either side of my head.

After what seemed like forever, I began to feel my chest tighten up. I began to see black. And I heard him chuckle. He grabbed my head and pulled himself out.

I gasped and panted for breaths. But it was too good to last. He shoved himself back into my mouth. I still tried to breathe through my nose. But even that seemed pointless. His pre-cum slipped down my throat. I allowed him to thrust his hips as fast as he wanted.

Kevin moaned and groaned. Suddenly I felt myself being lifted and pain mine on the right cheek. I panted to regain my vision, and once it came back I saw I was on the counter. Face first. Soon after I felt my jeans being pulled down.

Know I would like to say that I wasn't sexually stimulated. But I was. I blame myself for why Kevin does this. He sees that my body likes it, and that's why he does this. S...sweet right?

I started to tear up. Not by much, I closed my eyes preparing myself. Not too long, and I felt him push himself into me. I tried to keep myself from clenching but to no avail.

"Loosen up.." He growled by my ear. I whimpered lightly, trying to keep myself from crying. I did as he said, and I felt him move.

He thrust in and out multiple time before he came. And even though I began to get hard, he pulled out of me and walked away.

Once I was sure that he was gone, I stood up straight and pulled up my jeans. Making sure to be quiet I walked up to our room. I could hear Kevin watching tv in the living room.

As I stepped into the shower my tears began to fall. I'm close to being done. No, wait. I am done. I can't take this anymore. I can't do this and just pretend that I am happy anymore. My friends disowned me cause I was with Kevin. My parents hate me cause I'm not a surgeon.

God, why are you so cruel? Why must you insist on doing this to me? What purpose is this?

I leaned back against the wall and slid down. The shower head was set at an angle, so the water still hit me. Good. I could feel like I wasn't crying anymore. Yeah, that'd be nice.

After my fingers began to prune up, was when I decided to get out of the shower. I didn't even bother anymore with trying to scrub off the filth. what was the point? I was the filth. After I dried and finished dressing into my night clothes, I walked out, making sure to dry the floor, and slipping into bed. I curled up hugging myself because it was the only touch that was still kind. Or at least not rough or forceful.

Goodnight day. Hopefully, I wake. But secretly, I wish id just stop breathing at times. Maybe soon. Maybe never. Maybe I am to die by the hands of my boyfriend.

I just hope that all this turns to good soon.