Love the Way You Lie

Why?

It is hard to really follow the one you love. It is hard to reconcile with your past. To fully experience the very essence of what this reality is. However, this is not the reality I wanted to happen. This. This is just terrible. 

Realizing and a Epiphany are very different ideas. Had I changed what I was doing, I could have changed this outcome. I know. I know all to well. And yet I had let my own personal issues and ideas change what could have been a happy life. What could have been a normal life for people we had never even considered to be apart of something so trivial. I know. 

The days were numbered when I had allowed my jealousy and anger start to control every little action. It was small, but I knew better. Why did I not stop? 

It grew, and soon enough I found myself reverting back to my high school years. Why did I say that?

And of course, I was beginning to turn into this cold and hard-headed asshole. I knew I was changing, but why did I not stop?

On my last day, I remembered going to Nat. I knew Edd would be there. I just needed to apologize, and hopefully return to a bitter romance that we once had. I say this, because Edd never stopped me. I have always wondered, why? I believed that it was because of Edds parents neglect on him, making him take any attention. heh. I remembered I once called him a "attention whore". I was right I suppose. 

Anyways, I had gone to Nats place. I got dirty looks from people of course. I mean, this town was tiny. The Town knew everything. I could feel a pulsing in my head, as a headache began to form. My palms began to sweat and wet. As I approached his building, I buzzed the buzzer and asked for Nat. 

"Who?" 

"Nathan Goldberg? 5a?" 

"Oh, I am so sorry. Our records show that he left a while ago. But that is about as much as I can tell you. Sorry" then the speaker buzzed out. I stood there for a while. He left? where did he take D? Maybe I should.. No.. I shouldn't... But...

Eventually, I found myself on some land. Farmland to be more specific. 

"Kevin? What do you want?" I felt so unwelcome. In which, I guess I should have felt like that. But I needed to find Edd. 

"I... Sorry. I didn't mean to intrude so suddenly.. but.."

"Yes, yes go on, I don't have all day." I could hear the sounds of the farm animals in the background, it was just setting me more on edge. 

"I just needed to know if you knew where Nat and Edd have gone?" 

Rolf looked at me with his glare. It faltered a bit, which made me worry. No, everything is fine. Everything is fine. Rolf shook his head and stepped closer to me. 

"Ah, it really is grave news, Kevin. Edd is dead. Nat, well... all I know is that he went away with the hospital." 

Rolf shook his head in some sort of sadness. I wonder-

"It has been about a year or so... But now that you know Kevin, I want you gone now!" He shoved me slightly and I took the message. I turned around and began to walk toward the town. 

He was dead. Dead. Because of me? No. he wouldn't. Something happened to him. Yeah, that's it. 

no...

I found myself walking past our old suburban house. It was lit up, and through the window and see through curtains, I could see a family of 5. My head hurt worse. We had talked about a family, once. He wanted a boy, and I wanted a girl. Perfect family... Perfect. Perfect.... Perfect is gone now.

I continued walking, and soon I had found myself in the wooded area outside of the town. I found myself not caring where I was to go anymore. Where could I go? What could I do? I did not even feel fear in the towering darkness. 

"Hey, you."

I looked up slowly to see about three people in cloaks beside me. Looking like they were headed in the same direction. 

"You should leave before you get hurt." 

I looked down and simply walked forward. Moments passed before I felt three pairs of hands on me. Restraining me. 

"We warned you." I could hear this girls smile. I simply followed and found myself seeing more of them. A whole cult of people. With others with them. I did not look afraid. But I did begin to cry. Their victims faces. They looked like Edds when... I sobbed.

One by one, the people had their victims stand in the middle of a circle and renounce their sins. What happened after, was something that I would classify as brutal. As they beat them. Basically. Oh they did. so. much. more.

 Finally, it was my turn. 

"And what about you? What have you come forth and confess today?"

They looked down at me as I only sobbed. 

"I..." I thought about it for a moment. "Why did he hate me?"

They shrugged their shoulders as they moved in. And finally, I. Understood Edds fear. But no use now. I simply laid there and died.