Pinkie Promise | Jungkook ✔️

Tears ; 눈물

+song ; seesaw - yoongi (bts) 

I smiled softly at seeing Jungkook so focused over what he was writing.

We were currently in my room, sitting on the floor surrounded by various sheets and textbooks. Jungkook was sitting across from me, bending over his book, a small space between his lips and the wind from the slightly open window tousling his chocolate locks.

"It's so pretty," murmured Jungkook, his attention focused on the setting sun in the darkening sky.

I turned to face him instead of the sky. His lips were slightly agape, something that always happened when he was paying attention to something. The cool breeze slightly rearranged his hair, which caused me to smile. Even his imperfections seemed perfect, he was beautiful and oblivious to it, instead appreciating the beauty around him.

"Y/N?" Jungkook said, his eyebrows furrowed together with concern.

Oh great, I had a flashback again, I frowned, that needs to stop.

"Hmm?"

"You've been spacing out a lot lately, you okay?"

"Yeah I'm fine. Can we take a break?"

Jungkook nodded, closed the book and focused on me again.

"So what have you been doing for these past years?" he asked hesitantly.

"Oh, piano I guess.." I said, avoiding his eyes, "may I ask about you?"

Jungkook looked taken aback before drawing a breath and nodded. "I know..I've been gone a long time. I was scared what you'd think of me if you knew the reason. But now I realize I should have told you. You deserved to know, I'm not surprise you erased me from your memory.

In fact at a point I wanted to erase myself. The guilt became too much, singing was becoming my only escape from reality. Then I met some people..."

Seeing my look of confusion, he went on. "My hyungs, my only friends. I met them whilst studying music in Seoul. They're the reason I didn't give up in the worst of times."

He sighed. "But that's off topic. When your parents, um.." I bowed my head in understanding.
"You were so broken, so hurt. I didn't know what to do."

I tried to stay silent, but all I wanted to do was hug Jungkook and tell him it wasn't his fault, to tell him the truth. But my selfish side got the best of me and I carried on listening without a word.

"So I left. I couldn't take it anymore. You seemed so broken, so hurt and I felt like I was making it worse. I realize now that it was the worst thing I could've done."

I couldn't take this anymore, holding a hand to my mouth to make sure the sob didn't escape, I quickly excused myself and ran to the bathroom.

Looking at the mirror, I could see a normal girl.

But to any close observer, it was obvious there was something-a secret maybe, haunting and eating away at my conscience.

And it hurt. Yes he left, when he was the only person there for me, after the terrible news that my parent's had lost their lives in a fire. But even then, he was thinking of me. It was always everyone before himself. I hated myself for hiding this from him but I couldn't bring myself to tell him the truth.

With this thought, I finally allowed the tears to escape.

-

A/N

I'm so sorry - I know this isn't my best but I'm currently ill atm and really not functioning well.

On the bright side, LY:Answer is an masterpiece. The lyrics, translations and deeper meanings behind the songs are beautiful, and Yoongi's solo See Saw is amazing ugh

aNYWAYS, I hope you're all okay and remembering to love yourselves! I know I say this a lot, but speaking from experience I know it is so so so important and it's really helped me.

ily all :)