Wrong Time

Chapter 20: Apologies

·Grace's POV·

I won't ever get tired of celebrating Christmas. My family and I are all sitting by the fireplace opening our gifts.

"SANTA ROCKS!" Exclaimed my little cousin Mikey when he unwrapped his new Nerf.

Fantastic! Now I'll have to run for my life every time he's around me holding that... thing.

Alice (his sister and my cousin) and I let out an exasperated breath at the same time. She is like the little sister I never had - she is just two years younger, but still. A pity Alice lives so far away from me.

While I was cleaning the mess I made after unwrapping my presents, the doorbell rang.

"I'll get it!" Alice was fast to offer. She isn't keen on cleaning, to say the least. I just have to laugh when she calls herself 'His parents personal Cinderella'. "Grace, it's for you!"

Who would that be? The only one I know around here who would visit me if he could is Archer.

I turned the corner and came to face my visitor. Hold on...

What the hell is he doing here?!

"Noah?"

"Good morning, can we talk for a second?"

"Sure, let me put on my coat."

I did as I said and walked out of the door afterwards.

"Noah, I'm sorry for what I did that day at your parents' house. I was in no position to remind you of your brother's death."

"No, I should be the one to apologize. You were telling the truth about what happened and I overreacted. I've been trying to suppress those memories for forty years and hearing someone say them out loud made me lose it completely. Nobody else but Archer and I knew about that night, and it shocked me you knew it too. So, is it true? Do you really see my brother's ghost?" His eyes were pleading me to give him the answers he needed.

"I do and I know it sounds crazy. He told me private thoughts and memories in case I needed to use them at some point. For example, how he used to tell you a different bedtime story every night, improvising. Or how he was the one to teach you how to ride a bike and you fell one day, scratching your knees and costing your brother a week without dessert.

We both laughed at that story, Noah's eyes becoming watery.

"I was jelous too, you know? When you told me you could see his ghost, all I saw was red. I wanted to be the one to see him. I wanted to tell him that I haven't forgotten about him and that I'm sorry for everything I said. But I guess that dream won't come true."

"You sure?"

"What's your point?"

"Despite the fact that you aren't able to see him, he still can hear you. Archer lives in St. George and I'm paying him a visit this afternoon, if you want to accompany me. You'll be able to tell him how you feel and I'll repeat Archer's words for you."

"Would you really do that for me?"

"Without a doubt. Meet me at St. George's entrance at half past five."

"Will do. Thank you so much Grace."

"No problem, my pleasure."

                                ***

Clearly enough, Noah was at the entrance in time. A few hours have passed and he looks like he's going to pass out.

"How are you feeling?"

"Like I'm going to vomit right now."

"If you do, please don't direct it at me. I was given this sweater today." I tried to lighten up the mood, but he wasn't listening to me anymore.

I led him to the main hall where I spotted Archer near the Christmas tree.

"Love, I know this will sound crazy, but I really feel there might be a way to make this work if-" The cat got his tongue when he glanced our way. "What is he doing here?"

"He came looking for me this morning in an attempt to make amends with me. And now he wants to make amends with you, Archer."

"Is he here?" Noah asked me, looking like a nervous wreck.

"Yes, in front of the Christmas tree."

"What does he want to tell me?"

"He wants to apologize. Hear him out and whatever you wanna say in return, I'll repeat it. Noah, tell Archer, he's listening."

"Hello brother. It's been a while, huh? Forty years have passed and I still can't believe you are gone." He ran a hand through his blonde hair. "I'm here to tell you that I'm sorry. I knew you couldn't change dad and mom's opinion and I still yelled at you for leaving me behind. Moreover, I didn't get to say goodbye because I was locked up in my room, refusing to talk to you. As Grace said to me one time: Who cared anyway? You would be coming home for Christmas, right?But you didn't. I wanted to believe they were all wrong, that that was one of your jokes and you would be coming back to me any moment. But I was the one who got it wrong. The house wouldn't be the same without you, I wouldn't be the same without you. Shame and regret were eating me alive, they still do. Dad passed the enterprise down to me, when it should have been yours. At my wedding, there was an empty spot next to mine just for you, because I wanted to think that wherever you were, you were watching me making my way down the aisle. Every 31st of October, my wife has to send the children to her parents' house because I don't want them to see me cry every single minute of the day until I fall asleep. Don't you see it? I love you Archer, always had, always will. Not a day passes by for me without thinking about you. Please forgive me."

By the end of the speech, all three of us were crying our eyes out.

"Grace, please repeat this: I can't forgive you Noah, 'cause there's nothing to apologize for. You were a child, you didn't know what was going to happen. Who is in need to apologize is me instead. I've been so selfish all along. I didn't want to witness how you were moving on with your lives, so I missed all your accomplishments. How I wish I could have been at your wedding day, or even at your graduation. Noah, don't forget you were only eight years old, whereas I've been committing the same mistake for the last forty years. So forgive ME for being a conceited asshole, monkey. And don't forget I love you, I'll always will."

I repeated Archer's words in between sobs. This encounter was what they both needed, to let go of their respective pasts.

"I forgive you Archer. I miss you, come back." Noah braced himself.

"I wish monkey, I wish. " I repeated.

"We should stop dwelling on our pasts. I want you to catch up with what's been going on with our family."

And that's how we spent a couple of hours. Noah would tell every story, show every photo on his mobile phone and laugh at every anecdote that's related to what Archer has been missing. He discovered that Noah married a gorgeous girl he met at University and had two children. The oldest one was a fifteen year old girl called Hadley, whereas the youngest was an eleven year old boy called Archer. We all started crying again at the mention of that tribute. Well, we cried during most of the encounter.

Even so, they wouldn't have wanted it any other way.

                               *****

A.N: I'm surprised I didn't tear up while writing this chapter seriously. I'll let you dwell on it while I'm gone.
Love,
M³