Loved By The Ghetto (Urban)

Chapter 18

RECAP:

"Don't you dare judge me as a parent. You know nothing about being a dad, so don't act like you do."

"Oh come on! You're not a dad! You're just a sperm donor. You've never been there for Shanae, never had any respect for her. You see, your daughter is the toughest person I know. If you acted like the dad you were supposed to be, you would have known that." Tears pricked my eyes as Reuben spoke. James let out a hollow laugh.

"And how well does your dad know you?" he smirked, watching Reubens crushed expression.

"Don't you dare talk about my dad." Reuben clenched his jaw angrily.

"He was a curious soul." James continued.

"James stop." I pleaded helplessly. He looked back, shushing me.

"This isn't your war Shanae." he said. He turned his attention back to Reuben. "Now, your father, he was a player. Had bitches and baby mothers all over the place. And your mum was one of them. Your dad was weak."

"Stop it." said Reuben through clenched teeth.

"He became settled too young. He retired too quickly, you see in this life there's no time to retire. Your dad was too dumb to know that."

"I'm warning you." Reuben balled up his fists.

"Everything he had done had caught up with him, and his stupidity dug his grave. If he hadn't retired, he would be alive today, and own South. He fucked up his own life, and in the end he deserved to die." I cried at James's words of cruelty. Reuben lashed out at him, knocking him to the ground. They wrestled for a little while before Patrice broke it up.

"Don't say shit about my dad again! Fuck with me, you're dead." he fumed.

"I think you should leave." said Patrice. I watched Reuben storm out, flinging the door open, and disappearing from my sight. I leaned back and cried, shocked by the behaviour I had just witnessed. Why does everything have to be so complicated?

END OF RECAP:

After that little episode, Patrice comforted me. "You're alright. Everything's fine." she said. I shook my head.

"I ain't a little girl no more Patrice. Just because you say things are okay, doesn't mean they are." I addressed. She nodded.

"But it's good to have hope."

"Hope? Hope for what? Hope that Reuben and James won't try to slit each others throats when they see each other? Hope that this gang war will end? Why should I hope, when I know none of things I hope for will happen."

"I see your point but you need to believe in something to keep you going."

"I don't even want to keep going. There's nothing for me to live for." I mumbled.

"Are you serious?" she asked. She continued, not waiting for me to give an answer. "Are you forgetting about the baby you're carrying? Your first child! You're having a baby and you're telling me there is nothing to live for? You're living to be a mum to that baby, and nothing is going to change that."

"But what if I'm not a good mum? What if I fall asleep and I can't hear my baby crying? What if I don't feel a connection with the baby?" I asked worried.

"You are going to be a good mum, you're going to be a great mum! And of course you'll feel a connection with your child."

"You said it yourself, that I'm going to be a terrible parent, and Patrice I'm scared! I'm scared that it's gonna turn out to be true!" I cried, tears pouring down my face.