Loved By The Ghetto (Urban)

Chapter 27

RECAP:

"Why didn't you give him my name?" He asked. I screwed him.

"Don't you ever ask me that. You know why." I cut my eyes at him.

"I'm baffled."

"Don't act clueless, Reuben, don't you dare. You know exactly why. I don't want to have this conversation right now, I'll end up swearing and shouting and I don't want to do that around him." My eyes began to tear up.

I wasn't going to name my son after a father who has done nothing for him. He hadn't bought him anything, didn't check up on me to see if I was alright. He didn't ask me if I needed anything. He chose drugs and money over the birth of his child, over me. What father in their right mind would ever do that? My child didn't deserve to be named after that low life.

I could never forgive him for that. I needed him and he wasn't there.

"Baby-"

"Don't 'baby' me. Everytime you do something wrong you expect me to forgive you. Stop doing that. The day for me to forgive you has long gone. This is your son we're talking about, not just me. And he deserves better than what you're offering. My son doesn't come second place to money or drugs. He has got to be your priority, he's certainly mine. If you weren't going to do anything for him I would have given him up for adoption to make sure he has both parents in his life. I thought we were going to be a family unit but boy was I wrong. If you can't be here for the first hurdle how can I expect you to be there for the rest? You know what, talk to me another time. I'm too busy looking after the child you refuse to be a father to. Goodnight." I wiped my eyes.

"Baby girl-"

"Goodnight Reuben." My tone was harsher.

I never took my eyes off of my son. I was doing this for him. Reuben needed to know that his son comes first; always.

END OF RECAP

I ended up staying the night at the hospital. I was so drained, physically and emotionally. Reuben had absolutely obliterated any remaining respect I had for him. Missing the birth of your child when you could have been there is not something anyone should do. He's lucky I even gave TJ his surname.

I left the hospital at around 17:00. The move from the wheelchair into the car was not fun, I was so sore but all I wanted to do was go home and take care of my boy.

I watched as Jake brought him into the car, placing his car seat next to me. He was sleeping at the moment, which was great for me because he had been up most of the night.

It was such a weird feeling, I felt all empty and jiggly but I still felt like I was pregnant. Lol, it makes no sense, I know. I didn't mind how I was feeling too much, I was just excited that I finally got to see my boy.

My brothers were so helpful when I got home, they tried not to disturb TJ and I for a while and also brought me food whenever I was hungry so I didn't have to leave TJ to make myself food. I found out very quickly that being a mother was a very demanding job. I was constantly holding him when he was awake, checking his nappy, breastfeeding etc. If I wasn't exhausted before, I definitely was now! It was only my first day really, and I did find it a little overwhelming at times but I did have my brothers, Jake and Courtz to support me.

Jake had been great also. If I accidentally peed myself, he was right there to take TJ off my hands while Courtz helped me clean up. I couldn't have asked for better friends.

TJ had fallen asleep so I took the chance to also take a nap. Jake had been with me all day the day I gave birth and the day after, he hadn't left my side once. It had now been 2 weeks after I had Malachi and Jake was still coming to see me everyday and spending the night at least 4 times out of the week, even though he was still 'working'. That's what Reuben should have done. His actions really did anger my soul. I tried to phase out his negativity and concentrate on my son but it was getting harder. I shouldn't have to rely on my friends and my brothers to help me take care of my child; he should be here to help me too. It's not fair that I'm the only parent my son had in his life.