Soooo my school's first gsa (gay straight alliance) meeting is tomorrow and I'm stressed as fuck about it. I haven't even asked my parents if I can go. My friend Kai is getting me a ride home since my parents aren't off work until late. The thing is- I'm not out to my parents yet. (Btw I'm omniromantic asexual meaning that I feel romantic attraction to all genders, but not equally. I lean towards females more. And I do not experience sexual attraction.) I tried to come out to them almost two years ago but they rejected it, basically. They said I didn't know what it meant, I wanted attention, I wanted to fit in, it was just a phase, etc. I have 4 ideas about what to do.
A) tell my parents it is poetry club (we stan a gay poet) and let things play out.
B) tell my parents it is poetry club and also tell kai's family(aka my ride) not to mention it to my family. (Kai's family and mine are close and we all talk a lot)
C) tell my parents that it's gsa. I could either claim to be going as an ally or just tell them I'm gay.
D) don't go.
The issue with C is that I'm not ready. It seems like the ideal option. I won't get in trouble for lying, I (hopefully) get to go to gsa, and I also come out to my parents. But I don't know if I'm ready yet. I tried coming out to them before and it didn't work. And now I don't think I'm ready to try again. I think that you should come out when you are ready and when you are safe. I think I'm safe, but I don't think I'm ready. Even if I tell them I'm only going as an ally, they wouldn't believe me. They might think I'm still stuck in that 'phase' or maybe they'll accept it. I don't know.
At the same time, if I get caught in a lie, I'll be in huge trouble. Probably. There is a chance that if my parents find out, I can just explain what I said above. That I wasn't ready. They might understand or they might not. There are a lot of ifs and maybes and mights. And to be honest, that scares me. My anxiety is really bad right now.
You don't have to offer any help or ideas, I just wanted to get all of that out.
I'll let you know what happens tomorrow (unless I'm grounded lol yay)
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RandomI need a place to get all my shit out. You don't have to read this... but it would mean a lot if you did.
