Julie Henry

Chapter 20

Jake's Parents and Kevin had reached the hospital as well. Jake was to stay there for another day or two depending on his results. Meanwhile, I was sent home with Ashley to change, freshen up and rest. My leg had little bruises from my fall but it was nothing to be concerned about.

In my room, i could sense Ashley being a little more quite than often. Was she still angry at me? I looked at her but she gave me a faint smile.

'are you upset?' i asked. She gave a head shake signalling a no and then faking a smile, avoiding eye contact. I picked out an outfit and was heading to the bathroom to take a bath, i turned to look at her ... she was very low. She was looking at her phone maybe waiting for a text, anxiously.

'Okay i'm gonna take a quick shower you make yourself at home' i told her (not really having to, She used to visit all the time) . She faintly smiled as an 'okay' again no words from her and her smiled dropped just as soon as it was placed, still making no eye contact whatsoever.

When i took a shower and came out, she wasn't in my room. I went downstairs to find her sitting in the lounge nervous and tensed. I went back to my room to let my hair out of the towel and went down to check on her. As soon as i started climbing down the stairs, she heard me and got up and went to the kitchen. I followed her.

'Do you want me to make you a sandwich or something?' i asked.

'No, just wanted something to drink' she said while opening the fridge and getting herself water. As she stretched her arm, i noticed her sleeve fall back to expose a cut scar.

I pulled her hand towards me dropping the bottle from her hand.

'what is this!' i exclaimed whispering in a high pitch shriek, pulling her sleeve back.

She saw me and struggled to find an excuse laughing at me 'it's nothing!' she whispered back.

I slapped her and pulled her in for a hug.

'It's nothing! i'm telling you it's nothing!' she kept repeating as her voice gave up on her and started to break, hugging me back.

'what happened?'

'Ask me what has'nt?' she cried.

'Are you still upset about Ryan?'

' You have no idea about what has been going on with me for the past few weeks' she smiled with her lips but her tears wouldn't stop.

'What did he do again?' i asked.

'it's more like what i did again' she whispered in guilt, walking towards the lounge.

'Do you wanna talk about it?'

she sighed.

'Ronald and me have been chatting lately and he told me he... likes me...'

'Oh he finally told you, took him long enough' i whispered to myself.

'you knew, since when?!' she asked jumping out of her sofa.

'since i met him 3 years ago, it's kind've obvious..'

'what about the other girl!'

' yeah i think she knew about you too...'

' YOU ARE NOT MAKING ME FEEL BETTER!' She cut me off yelling and sat in another seat across the room holding her head with both her hands and she started weeping. I went to her taking her hands trying to calm her 'this is a good thing, he's very serious about you and frankly much better than Ryan, you should give him a chance atleast'

'Just stop talking you are making me feel worse...and i did give him a chance' she cried.

'than what happened? did he do something wrong?'

she didn't respond.

' did you do something wrong?'

she looked at me with her eyes all filled with tears, pressing her lips against each other.

'yes..

After my breakup with Ryan, Ronald and i started talking and it was great... I really started to like him. He was a complete gentleman to me... very different than Ryan was. He was calm and kind, so collected and mindful ...of my disorder too. A complete ray of sunshine...

then one day i ran into Ryan at the grocery store and he begged me for another chance.. he said that he loved me and that he admit his mistake and that i was ruining something that could end up being permanent and i...' she looked up at me with sorry eyes.

'you ended up believing him?' i asked. she noded.

' i stopped talking to Ronald, i didnt even give him an explanation' she whispered wiping her tears.

'So you are with Ryan again?'

' No he uhh.. he broke up with me. I guess he just wanted me to stay away from Ronald or something i dont know... he also started rumors about me that i was cheating behind his back with Ronald when me and him were clearly broken up and he knew i was talking to Ronald

and that's how this happened' she said pointing at her scar.

'does he know you did that to yourself?'

'Yeah..' she whispered breaking down .. 'He said it wasn't big enough... that i did it for attention.. that...' she broke down crying ' hey shhh don't cry he was a selfish ego maniac'

'..that i'm an attention seeker.. that if i wanted attention i should go be a prostitute' she ended her sentence after catching a breath, completely breaking down infront of me. I softly rubbed her back and hugged her.

'I'm sorry, i had no idea you were going through so much' i whispered into her hair, kissing her on the head.

'How would you? i always have the brightest smile in the room, i give away so much of me defending the people i love and fixing other people's friendships and their relationships, i see everything i know everything but i act stupid because i'm giving people chances on chances i want to believe there is good in the world...remember how much effort i put into fixing your and Ivy's friendship?... but when it came to me... nobody wanted to help me, they all stepped back, ignored who they knew me to be and believed the worse in me and the worse part is ....they end up making me believe it too'

'Hey nobody believes the worse in you, don't be like that...'

' did you not see how everyone was treating me in the hospital?'

' i barely noticed anything'

' well i felt it, Jewel Jake turned everyone against you and you didn't even do anything wrong ... i actually fucked up and i'm never gonna hear the end of it!'

'Ron is not like that, you know that, he might be angry with you but i dont think he would actually backbite or try to turn others against you'

'i know nothing Julie! i know nothing! i thought Ryan was the right guy for me and i was stupid to give him another chance when all he ever did was give me words!... all he ever did was make me the talk of the town!

...can we not talk anymore?' she said getting out of her seat and walking out.