Julie Henry

Chapter 4

(PoV Julie )
I hate it! I hate it! I hate him!
I hate everything in my life!!
I cried in my head as tears started flowing from my eyes, standing at the kitchen counter. I took out some onions and started dicing them to avoid Kevin's questions about why I was crying, in case he came home.
I've been crying for a whole week if not more. I missed my parents terribly more than usual. I didn't know why; maybe it was because of the way Jake made me feel... unwanted, unwelcome, an intruder.
I hate him! Who does he think he is? Coming into my life and turning it upside down like that. I came back thinking he'd help me get out of depression but he's been the main reason for it. Why did he say that he loves me in the balcony of his house that day?! Was that a pity speech to make me feel better? Am I that pathetic now?! I wish mom was here. I wish I could hug her and forget about all this.
Mother.. the last time I saw her was on the hospital bed "look up at the moon when you feel alone, I'll shine on you" she had said.
Shine on me now! Now please! I pleaded as the tears blurred my vision. If only there was a way to bring you back ..for us to be together.
My life is nothing but hell! I'm all alone and broken. I need you.. real bad!
I stepped back from the counter and hugged my shivering self, realizing the knife was still in my hand. I wiped my tears and held the knife towards me with both my hands and brought it close to my chest.
I don't need this life. I could be with mom again, thinking that I placed one hand at the end of the blade. I took a deep breath, "here it goes" I whispered.

"What the heck are you doing!?" Jake stormed in. Taking me by surprise, slamming the door shut and reaching for the knife. I didn't let him take it and so we fought over it until he had had enough and slammed me away roughly with his strong masculine arm. I fell to the floor against the sink cabinet. My tears flowed in anger and embarrassment. I tried controlling them but I couldn't. I didn't have the guts to look up at him. I closed my eyes shut, hoping this wasn't real, as I sat there on the floor in an eerie and unnerving silence.
I felt something wet on my fingertips, I opened my eyes.
Blood.