Julie Henry

Chapter 21

I asked Ron to take me to the hospital to see Jake. I wanted to talk to him on the way about Ashley, he cared for her too much and wouldn't possibly let her ache alone. I'm sure he would put in effort to fix things if I spoke to him. Ashley had no doubt created a mess for herself but she's been struggling a lot and Ron has seen her struggle. He knows... but for her sake I hope he understands too.
I didn't wake Ashley up and tip toed out the house when Ron arrived.
Unfortunately, he was in no mood to talk. He had loud music on to drown my voice out and avoid small talk. His car reeked of cigarettes.
I finally dialled down the music.
' hey can we stop at Starbucks? My head hurts, I haven't had a chance to sleep well'
'Sure' he replied.
'We are gonna sit there for a while too ... I kinda wanna talk'
' sure' he replied, in the same monotone.
Sitting down with coffee.
'How are the bruises?' He asked.
'Not serious' I told him.
'And how are you?' I asked
'Fine'
'Are you sure?'
' yeah'
'So I spoke to Ashley today...' I started and
his look stiffened.
'So you guys are talking again?' He asked.
'She was at my place right now'
'She asked you to talk to me?' He asked
'No, I'm talking to you cause I want to... she isn't well'
'Haha. She cut herself you referring to that?'
'Yeah, how do you know?'
'Ryan told me in fact he told everyone about it... about the crazy ex attention seeker'
'Ryan!' I stopped him
' ...you love her'
' I loved her... I don't anymore'
'You are gonna abandon her when she needs you the most?'
' I was there for her when she needed me the most, she abandoned me. I didn't abandon her she chose this for herself. She cheated on me and went back to her ex lover'
'She regrets it'
' Good, it doesn't matter'
'You really want her to stay like this and keep hurting herself'
He paused. He looked at me and then looked away I could see tears forming in his eyes.
' she wants him not me'
' did she cut herself cause he left or cause she hurt you?' I asked him.
' cause he left her ...'
' do you know that for a fact?'
' What are you implying she hurt herself out of guilt of hurting me?'
' I'm not implying anything, I'm just saying you shouldn't leave this stuff up for probably and maybe's'
' it doesn't matter anymore, I don't love her and I wasn't serious about her'
'That's not true and you know it'
'That's what I told everyone'
' what do you mean?'
' Ryan told everyone he took my girl and had her killing herself for him ...so I just ditched out I wasn't serious about her'
'That's horrible!'
'I tried giving her the world Julie some people just don't know how to handle respect and love'
' I can't even believe you just said that'
' Stop acting like a saint, it killed you to see Jake with Ivy now imagine them getting together behind your back... imagine giving Jake everything you have all your love and one day he just stops replying out of nowhere and then you find out he's back with Ivy and he's hurting himself for her attention'
I had no words. I took a long pause. It hurt just to hear that.
' Ron I'm sorry you went through that...'
'Yeah'
'... and she didn't hurt herself for Ryan's attention. She hurt herself cause she didn't want to live no more, she was burdened under her disorder, she has depression It was hard for her to continue living after being betrayed by Ryan and disappointing you'
'Julie, stop.'
He pulled out a cigarette and lighted it.
'It hurts me to see her like this but I have to put myself first, she isn't good for me' he said getting up.