This Is Me

Part 1

Sean pulled his hood up to cover his face, before discreetly slipping into the indoor ice rink. For the last four years, he had done this. He'd tell people that he was going to the gym. When the truth was that for the last few months, he had been going to the ice rink. Nodding to the woman behind the front counter, he made his way down to the ice. It was really early, but he couldn't seem to balance Youtube and this properly. Besides, he preferred it this way. No one was around and the rink was completely empty. Taking a seat, he pulled off his shoes and opened his backpack. Today. Today would be different. Tying on his worn boots, he made his way slowly to the gate. Taking a deep shaky breath, he removed the blade guards and stepped onto the smooth ice. Flipping his hood back, he pulled his thin leather gloves from his pocket. He just had to take this slow. This was the first time he had gotten up the courage to even stand on the ice in months. 

People always said that the skill comes back to you. Just like riding a bike. You never forget. Taking it slow, he started with simply sliding around the rink. The soft sound of the blades cutting the ice gave him goosebumps. He missed this. Even going slow, the way the chilly air rushed over him... It made him feel so free. Youtube had been a fine job, but over the last few weeks it had only begun to stress him out. Even his therapist had started recommending that he take a break for awhile.  Encouraging him to do something that would help him 'find himself again.' So, he started doing this. Every week, he'd come here to build his courage back up. He just had to move past his trauma. The past was in the past. It didn't matter anymore. Shaking his head, he sped himself up and turned swiftly to slide backward around the turn. A smile breaking across his lips. It really was coming back to him. Picking up a bit more sped, he drifted into the center, dropping into a sit spin. The rush got his adrenaline running, causing him to crave more. 

Slowly, he rose up on one leg in the middle of his spin, then touched his free foot down to abruptly stop himself. He was only a little dizzy, but the pay off was huge. He felt like he had just spun away every negative thought and worldly burden. It was so refreshing. Turning his eyes to the far end of the rink, he took a breath. He was ready. Building his speed back up, he set himself up for an axel jump. He hadn't done any jumps since his accident... but he was confident. Drifting into position, his eyes caught someone sitting in the stands. He tried to ignore it. Leaping off the ice and managing to get a single rotation in... When his mind lost focus. With a single flashback to the axel that had put him in the hospital, his mind forgot how to stick the landing. His right blade clipped the ice at the wrong angle, causing it slid out from beneath him. His hip hit the ice as the speed set him hydroplaning to the rink wall.

Sean stayed down, feeling his whole body shake. Why did he think he could still do this? Banging his fists on the ice, he cursed under his breath. This jump used to be nothing for him... Now he just couldn't do. His injury had rattled him. Breaking his leg had cost him the European Championship, before it had even begun. From the stands, someone started clapping with slow lack-luster effort. Sean staggered back up onto his blades, gripping the rink wall for support. He wanted to know who was getting pleasure out of his pain. The moment he saw him, Sean gritted his teeth with disgust. The one man he didn't want to see EVER again. Mark Fischbach. Mark strolled down the steps toward him and Sean pushed away from the wall to keep a good distance between them. Tightening his fists, he snapped out to him. "What are YOU doing here in Ireland? Come to break my other leg?"

Mark leaned against the rink wall, looking rather bored as he told him. "You're never going to let that go, are you...?" Sean's eyes narrowed on him as he growled out. "Why should I?" Mark raised his soft brown eyes up to meet his, stating out a bit dryly. "Yes, I sabotaged you. I'm sorry. I thought you'd just wipe out... I couldn't have predicted you landing like that." Sean spun around to skate away, when Mark called out to him in a desperate rush. "Wait! I came all this way. Can you at least listen to what I have to say?" Sean slid into a stop that sprayed up bits of frost from the top layer of the ice. Giving Mark a stone cold look, he shot back. "I don't care if you crossed the desert to find me. I wouldn't give you the water off my blades." Mark rolled his eyes, jogging around the outside of the rink to keep up with him, while yelling out to him casually. "Sean, come on! Don't be mean, I want to help you." Sean drifted to the wall, grabbing it to stop himself as he asked sourly. "What makes you think that I need your help?!"