This Is Me

Part 4

Sean sat inside the car with his backpack between his legs on the floorboard. Slipping on his seat belt, he huddled up with his coffee. He felt uncomfortable. He didn't want to be in this situation. It was a temptation that he wanted to avoid, but his desire to understand Mark's motives were killing him. Mark didn't say a word as he took his time getting settled in the car. It was only after they had started driving that Sean anxiously asked him. "Are you going to tell me... Or was this another lie to get me in your car?" Mark focused on driving, while answering in a low voice. "His name is Quentin." Sean's eyes widened, shifting in his seat to stare at Mark with alarm upon retorting. "Quentin? The German? The four time reigning gold medalist? HE put you up to it?" Mark swallowed nervously, choosing his next words carefully. "You don't know him, Jack. Off the ice, Quentin is a frightening man. He came to me at the hotel and told me that if I didn't find a way to shut you down that he would." 

Sean tensed up, his anger seeping into his voice. "So, instead of just telling me this... You sabotaged me?!" Mark inhaled deeply, then rushed out a bit. "I knew you wouldn't listen to me! You were his biggest competitor that year. You would have brushed off his threat and gone out there-" Sean cut him off, snapping out loudly. "I would have taken this up with the ISU had I known! Damn it, Mark! You sabotaged me worse, than he could have!" Mark slammed on the brakes, turning to face him as he snapped out. "I DIDN'T KNOW! Your coach told you not to do jumps on your warm-up! I banked on that! You've never skated against Quentin! I've seen what he's done to skaters who threaten him!" Sean shook his head, grumbling out. "If he's so bad... How is he still in the sport?" Mark relaxed in the seat, his voice serious as he replied darkly. "It's easy to make things look like an accident, if you get to them before the championships... that you aren't in."

Mark started to drive again, letting Sean take this in. After a few seconds, Sean asked him in a calmer voice. "He's approached you before? Mark, had he been trying to sabotage me, before we flew out for the European Championships?" Mark didn't answer, but Sean read his nervous features. Exhaling sharply, Sean glanced out his window. That was terrifying to know. There was silence between them for a time, then Mark told him gently. "Quentin isn't skating anymore. He wanted to retire with a perfect record." Sean didn't know what to say. So, Mark added in with a voice full of regret. "Jack, I'm sorry. I didn't know what to do. I wanted you to just get disqualified for not showing up on time. I never intended for you to get hurt. I know I should have told you, but... I was afraid. I didn't want you to put yourself in harms way." Sean sipped his coffee, then muttered out dryly. "You didn't even come to the hospital after."

Mark gripped the steering wheel tighter, mumbling under his breath. "I couldn't. I saw the way you looked at me as they took you off the ice. Seeing the betrayal in your eyes hurt worse than seeing you in pain. It's why I lost to Rasputin that year." Sean rolled his eyes as the car pulled up to the curb of his house. Quickly unbuckling his seat belt, Sean tried to get out of the car. Mark grabbed his arm to stop him, pleading out in a loving voice. "Sean, please... I've never stopped loving you. I did it with the best of intentions." Sean yanked his arm out of Mark grip, his voice quivering a little as he curtly replied. "Mark... I can't deal with this right now. I just... I need to think..." Without another word, Sean climbed from the car and rushed to his door. Fumbling with his keys, he heard the car shut off behind him and groaned loudly.

In his haste to unlock his door, he dropped his keys. He just wanted to get inside and lock Mark out. Mark's car door slammed and Sean snatched his keys off the ground, fumbling with them again to find the right key. He really needed to get rid of some of these. Turning to insert a key into the lock, Mark told him in a broken voice. "Sean, don't run from me... If you can't stand to be around me... Than break my heart! I can't live like this!" Sean released his keys, leaving them in the door as he banged his forehead against the cold door. This was a wound that had never healed. The salt of betrayal had kept it raw and petrified. It was a question in his heart that he didn't have an answer too. Did he still love Mark after everything that he'd done? Part of him still did. Keeping the faith alive that it wasn't the real Mark that had hurt him. Mark was very competitive on the ice. He had hoped being sabotaged was just that... a stupid blinded mistake.