This Is Me

Part 13

Mark smirked despite himself. He wanted to stay mad enough to prove how worried he was about him... but how could he? His heart was too fluttery after seeing him shirtless on that damn pole. Combined with how close he stood to him now, it was agony to hold himself back. He forced himself not to touch him, even though his fingers burned with the desire too. Instead, he discreetly leaned forward a bit like he couldn't hear him well. Allowing him to feel closer and take in the faint smell of him. Jack didn't seem to notice anything about the gesture as he stepped away from him to follow Stacy outside. Mark remained where he was until Jack had moved far enough away that he finally exhaled the breath he was holding. Reluctantly walking to the door, Mark froze with his hand on the door handle. Through the glass, he thought he saw a flash from a car with tinted windows across the street.

Keeping his eyes on it, he opened the door to get a better look. It was a red car with the driver side window rolled down. All the other windows were tinted. He couldn't see a driver from this distance, but it made him feel uneasy. He hoped it was just the sun reflecting off the car. Moving to the car, he unlocked it and slipped inside. Stacy and Jack seemed distracted with their own awkward conversation as they settled himself inside. As he pulled out, beside him Stacy giddily teased to Jack in the backseat. "I've never seen you move like that. I can't wait to see you do that on the ice!" In the back, Jack muttered out under his breath uncomfortably. "If I had known you two were watching, I wouldn't have done it... Just forget what you saw. Please?" Mark gripped the steering wheel harder, his voice half growling out. "Why? Are you saying you are more at ease with Torrance than with us?"

Stacy shot him a look of warning, but he ignored it. His jealousy was bubbling back up to the surface again. It wasn't fair that Jack could preform like that for Torrance and not him. What had she done differently from him? Mark watched Jack glance at Stacy nervously, then he shifted awkwardly in the rearview mirror, before he mumbled out. "It's not like that. I just can't... It doesn't matter." Mark lowered his eyes back to the road feeling slightly hurt for a reason that didn't make sense. He wanted Jack to improve... but seeing him have fun with Torrance had been almost painful. Stacy piped in before the awkward silence, saying excitedly. "Anyway! I managed to set everything up for your local competition. Just a few minor details to iron out and then we can announce it to all of Ireland! Isn't that great?" Mark slowed for a red light, before telling her a bit sternly. "You shouldn't tell him stuff like that. He's not ready and I have enough trouble trying to train him as it is."

Stacy straightened back up in her seat to snap back at him. "He's fine. I'm not pressuring him. I was just updating him on what I've been doing." Mark moved the car again as the light turned green, feeling his tension rising as he shot back. "You know how anxious he gets before competitions. I can't train him if he is worried how he is going to look. Talk about something else." Stacy's jaw dropped a little with insult, puffing herself up as she accused him sourly. "You think I don't know that? I've known him longer than you have. He can handle it because I know how to help him through it. YOU need to stop pressuring him about training so hard. Have you seen the blisters on his feet? When was the last time you fed him? You know he tends to forget when he's absorbed in his training right?" Mark put both hands on the wheel and tightened his grip to hold himself back.

From the back seat, Jack very nervously slipped in. "Guys? I'm right here. I can speak for myself..." Stacy held out a finger to silence Jack as she belted out with that motherly instinct that Mark hated so much. "Hold on just a minute, Sean. Why are you being such a bitch right now, Mark? What did I ever do to you?" Mark clenched his teeth, his eyes laser focused on the road. When he felt a tiny bit calmer, he growled out to her. "It's nothing. Just drop it." Jack moved to the edge of his seat, leaning in between them as he told them both with a worried voice. "Alright, guys. Let's change the subject. I don't like where this is headed." Stacy put a hand on Jack's chest, telling him in a sweet motherly tone. "I'm not angry. I just don't understand why he is suddenly biting my head off. He's acting like I pissed him off and I want to know why. That's all." Jack took her wrist in his hand but didn't remove it from his chest as he told her calmly. "Stacy, please just drop this?"

Stacy stared at Jack for a long moment, then asked him suspiciously. "Sean...Why do you want me to drop this? Does something happen when he gets mad?" Mark felt like a knife was shoved into his gut at her words. Jack shook his head, lightly telling her. "No, Stacy. Of course not. It is just that Mark isn't very open with his feeling. He works them out on his own. So, can we just move on from- " Mark cut Jack off by slamming on the breaks so hard that the car made a dreadful screeching noise across the pavement. Stacy managed to keep Jack from toppling onto the shifter between them, while Mark roared out. "NO! You're not doing this shit again with me in the car! You think I abuse him, is that it? You want to get everything out into the open? Then why can't you let him go!" Jack pushed up on all fours between them, panting out defensively. "What the fuck, Mark?! You could have killed us! Now take that back!" Mark glared down at Jack, snapping out loudly. "Why is it that every time we get into a fight, you always take her side?!"

Jack tried to sit back in his seat, answering firmly. "I do not! I'm trying to keep you two from killing each other! Is that so wrong?" Mark's hand shook with suppressed fury as he pointed at Stacy and bellowed out to Jack angrily. "If you didn't want us to kill each other, then why did you invite her?! You know she has hated me since your accident! She blames me for taking you from her and then leaving you with her to deal with the broken pieces!" Mark's anger dissipated, but he still clung to it to keep from braking down emotionally as he stated out hoarsely. "Yes, I bottle things up. You think it's easy for me to be close to you and yet mentally we're miles apart? I can't fix anything if you are always hiding behind someone else, goddamn it! I'm jealous because you open up to everyone except ME!" Mark lowered his hand as the silence filled the car. He felt terrible about shouting all this out like a tantric child, but it was everything they wanted out of him.

Unbuckling his seatbelt, Mark exited the car and slammed the door hard. One or two cars passed their vehicle without issue as Mark walked up to lean against the nearest brick building. The soft cold breeze felt nice over his heated skin and the fresh air felt so good without the burning tension of the air in the car. Jack chatted with Stacy in the car for a short time, before slipping out to join him. Mark crossed his arms over his chest tightly as he kept replying the memory of seeing her hand on Jack's chest. Jack cautiously inched over to him, telling him in a soft tone of voice. "Mark... Please don't do this. Let's just go get something to eat. We'll all talk this over as friends and clear the air. We can't work together like this. I need time." Mark couldn't look Jack in the eyes. So, staring down at his own feet, he told Jack solemnly. "I'm not hungry anymore. Stacy can drive you to dinner. I need to walk this off..." Without another word, Mark pushed off the wall and started to head off in the opposite direction.

Jack kept pace with him, telling him hopefully. "Mark, I'm sorry... I can't be myself around you." Mark simply shook his head and kept walking. He didn't want to hear this and it wasn't helping his old wound heal. In fact, it hurt as painfully as the day it was made. Jack grabbed his bicep to yank him to a stop, before practically crying out. "Mark, I'm afraid to be myself with you... Every time I open up to you... It makes it harder for me to walk away." Mark finally stared into Jack's ocean blue eyes and whispered to him in a fragile voice. "Stay with me." Mark took ahold of Sean's hand and pulled it to his chest. The feeling of Jack's hand was like a lifeline that he never wanted to let go of. Jack squeezed his hand for a brief moment, before pulling his hand back and glancing around for any onlookers. The pain of it flooded Mark's voice as he numbly, spouted out to Jack. "If Stacy is just your friend now... Then why is she still wearing your wedding ring, Sean?"

Jack's eyes turned back to his with a stunned expression. Mark had seen all that he had wanted to see. Turning on his heel, he let out a loud sigh. As he began walking again, he numbly called out over his shoulder. "Enjoy dinner." To Be Continued...