This Is Me

Part 29

Sean kissed Mark passionately. Claiming his lips in a kiss that begged him for more. His heart was still racing laps in his chest and he knew only one way to calm himself down. He just needed Mark to feel the same. Mark moaned into their kiss, causing Sean's arms to break out into goosebumps. Sliding his hands up Mark's chest to his shoulders, Sean wrapped his arms around Mark's neck to pull him deeper into the kiss. Mark's strong arms wrapped around Sean's waist, pulling him closer as he slowly lifted him off the ground. Pinning Sean against the wall, Mark broke the kiss to nuzzle into his neck. Sean yelped when he felt Mark's teeth but clung to him. Sean wondered if they could get away with a few more minutes in the locker room, when someone cleared their throat awkwardly. Mark's arms loosened to set Sean back on the floor, before turning his head to look. Sean moved his hands back to Mark's chest, blushing as Stacy told them softly. "Do you two plan to get changed anytime soon?"

Mark gave her a casual shrug, informing her lightly. "What's the rush?" Stacy slowly walked past them toward the locker room, answering over her shoulder nicely. "Well... Sean's dad wants to talk to him. Or should I tell him that you are... indisposed?" Sean stepped away from Mark, asking a bit startled. "He wants to talk to me?" Mark put a comforting hand on Sean's shoulder, but there was caution in his expression. Stacy nodded to him, giving him a small smile. Sean's heart leapt for joy and he raced off toward the locker room to change. While he was carefully slipping out of his clothes, Mark entered the locker room. Mark leaned against a row of lockers telling him cautiously. "Sean... I think you should be careful. He may want to say that... Just be careful." Sean pulled his jeans on, chuckling out. "You didn't see his face in the stands. He looked... proud of me." Mark's eyes drifted to the floor, telling him in a gentle voice. "I know... but just be prepared for the worst. Just in case."

Sean took a deep breath to try to calm his heart enough to let Mark's words sink in. He didn't want to believe that his dad would hurt him again, but Mark was right. He needed to get better control over his emotions. If he didn't, it would only hurt more. Zipping up his pants, his shoulders fell at the idea that his dad might turn him away again. Would it be worse? Would he not even acknowledge him as his son anymore? Did his mom feel the same way? Sean leaned back against the cold locker door, staring at the floor with a blank look. Mark moved into his line of sight, kissing his cheek lovingly. Sean smirked, enjoying the way Mark's lips brushed over his cheek to his ear. Mark nibbled his ear playfully, then told him in a buttery whisper. "I told you to prepare yourself. Not degrade yourself, Jack. Everything's going to be alright." Sean tilted his head back against the locker, staring into Mark's eyes as he asked nervously. "Mark... I don't know what I'm doing. Am I...? Is there something wrong with me?"

Mark moved away to grab a washcloth off a shelf by the sink, asking curiously. "What makes you think that?" Sean moved to the bench, swinging his leg over to straddle it. Gripping the bench so hard that his knuckles turned white, he rocked slightly as he mumbled under his breath. "I don't know. Growing up, I'd go to mass with my parents and looking back... I can't help thinking that something is wrong with me." Mark finished soaking the washcloth, giving it a squeeze to drain it a bit, he told Sean seriously. "Jack, shut that shit out." Sean shook his head, then leaned forward as his eyes started to tear up. He couldn't block it out. It was too late. He had mentally hurt himself. He felt fragile and exposed. His fears and doubts were overwhelming him. Mark swung a leg over the bench, scooting up to him. Mark put a hand on his cheek, purring out to him gently. "Jack? Look at me. Look at me." Sean reluctantly lifted his head, feeling a tear run down his cheek. Mark held his chin up, looking him in the eyes as he told him in a serious loving tone. "Nothing is wrong with you. There is no right or wrong way to do things. Everyone does things their own way. Over time, people will open up and understand."