This Is Me

Part 42

Sean spent the next two days watching Felix preform the jumps that Mark and Stacy wanted to add into the Harley routine. In between his observing breaks, Matthew tried to walk him through why his axel jumps kept falling. Showing him clips of himself and slowing them down to give him mathematic solutions. It was a lot to take in, but Sean did his best to absorb it all. He wanted to improve. This was his passion and he had gotten his second chance at it. He wasn't going to waste his last shot. No matter how deeply their words cut him down, he wasn't going to let them win. He was going to fight back. He just had to find whatever he was missing... He had lost something since his first accident. Without it, he felt like he wasn't trying hard enough. So, he obsessed over his routines. During the day he was running through his routines mentally and during the night... he was secretly studying Rasputin's routines. Every person had a flaw. He wanted to find his. Using a move that Rasputin couldn't do would give him an edge in points.

Sipping his eighth cup of hotel coffee, he stared at his phone intensely on the bed. Something was off about Rasputin. His routines were slightly off from each other. He just couldn't put his finger on it. Mark sat up on the bed beside him, groaning at the light coming in through the window. Mark checked his watch, then asked him bluntly. "Sean? Did you sleep at all?" Sean shook his head, leaning closer to Mark to tell him distractedly. "No. I'm running off a coffee high. Mark look at this... Does something seem off to you?" Mark grabbed his phone to steady it, before looking at it with sleepy eyes. After a moment, he shrugged and sleepily yawned out. "No. Why are you looking at his routine?" Sean glared at the screen, telling Mark seriously. "I'm studying. But Mark look... This was his routine in Nationals last year. And this is his routine in Nationals this year. Can you see the difference?" Mark rolled his eyes, taking his phone from him as he told him. "Sean, you're tired and running on coffee fumes... You're seeing things that aren't there."

Sean snatched his phone back, growling out. "Mark, stop it. Just look!" Mark took Sean's coffee off the bedside table to take a few sips of what was left. After which, he sat up and told him gently. "Alright. Show me. What do you see?" Sean flipped to last year's routine and played it to the first jump, pausing it moments before he leapt into the jump. Pointing to the screen, he told Mark shakily. "Right there! Look! Now watch this." Sean flipped to this year and paused at the time of the same jump for a different routine. Pointing to the screen, he uttered out to Mark anxiously. "Tell me you see that?" Mark blinked blankly, mumbling out. "Sean... What-?" Sean pointed to Rasputin's leg, cutting him off to say accusingly. "Mark, he took off on a different leg! Last year he went into this jump on his left foot. Now he went into it on his right." Mark took his phone to look it over more carefully for himself. Sean slipped off the bed, starting to pace back and forth as he ranted out. "That has to mean something, doesn't it?! It's a subtle change but it makes a big difference!"

Mark sat his phone down with a sigh, telling him casually. "It's not that unusual actually. Different jumps require a person to use different leading legs. I want to bring him down as much as you... but this? Sean, you're seeing things. Did you ever consider that Rasputin is ambidextrous?" Sean stopped pacing mid-stride to admit grimly. "No... I didn't think of that..." Mark chuckled, sliding his phone back to him as he told him happily. "Don't worry about him. Worry about you." Sean waved a dismissive hand, grumbling out. "I'm fine. I just can't shake this feeling..." Mark climbed from the bed, ordering Sean sweetly. "Baby, go shower. Maybe it will help clear your head. We've got a big day today." Sean groaned, tossing his phone to the bed. Mark was right. He needed to clear his head. He'd been staring at that screen for hours. After a hot shower, he got dressed and Mark took him back to the hospital. The nurse gave his arm an x-ray, then removed the 3D cast carefully to inspect for pain. Nothing.

She made him flex his fingers and pick things up. When he finished, Mark impatiently asked her. "So? What's the verdict? Can he skate tonight?" The nurse sat back in her chair, answering casually. "It was a clean fracture. It has healed quickly... but it's still at risk of breaking again. As a professional, I'm telling you to wait a week or two before doing anything as drastic as skating... but if you want a solid answer. Yes, he can skate. However, if he falls again or puts too much stress on that arm... it will break again." Mark nodded, acknowledging honestly. "I understand." Sean looked over his arm, openly telling Mark. "I'm gonna risk it." Mark raised his chin, morbidly questioning him. "Are you sure?" Sean clenched his fists, confidently retorting. "Ya. I'm not going to miss this shot. I can handle going lighter on my arm. As long as my legs still work, I'm still in this." Mark gave him a nervous look but followed him out. Together they went back to the rink to try to get in some more practice. The rink was empty except for some rink crews preparing the stadium. Everyone else was saving their energy for later.