Particular taste S.M || ✔

Thirteen

Maybe you weren't the one for me,

But deep down I wanted you to be

Coaster ~ Khalid

~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

I always knew what to do in crappy situations because after all I grew up in this house were everything goes wrong, I have been the worst sister that you can possible be while I am also the worst lover you can be, it is just that I have never seen the right example, my mother and father don't talk to each other only to fight about me or my brother or when other people are around for their reputation. My mother has one sister she doesn't talk to and I have never met her before, I am lying I met her for five seconds but my mother already pushed her away before she could walk inside so that kind of explains why I have such a bad idea about everything in life, I never had an example.

"Sabrina can you please pay attention for once without thinking about your old life." I look up to see my mother sitting down in the couch in front of me holding papers in her hands. "Mother I don't care about any of those things, you are going to choose anyway so why am I even here in the first place?" My mother shrugs her shoulders and licks her bottom lip and now I know I messed up with my big mouth again. "I am trying to be a good mother for once and you don't apreciate it again, you always think I am the cause here but maybe think about it more Sabrina, maybe it is you after all."

Before I could answer or do something to my mother, she was already out of the room leaving me alone with all the magazines in front of me showing me the dresses and decoration you need, it is just that I don't want this, I don't want to be here. "Sabrina are you okay, I heard mom leaving the room like a drama queen once again." I turn around to see my brother with his joggers on, still full of sweat by the running he did. "I don't want this Daniel, I don't want to be like mom, I want to be my own person that is why I left in the first place, to not end up like mom one day. But here I am again being mom all over again. I had my own life build up and I left all of it because of reasons and mom doesn't make it better for me with her ideas about everything in my life, all planned out."

Daniel closes all the magazines and pulls me up, he leads me to the garden where I have a view of our beautiful garden that always calmed me down and Daniel knew that as the best, he was the only person who listened to me when it was a bad time for me. "Why did you came back Sabrina when you don't feel like you belong here at all?" I shake my head and look at the fish in the river, being free like I wanted to be in my life but never was because my mother would never let me do that. "Because mom asked me too Daniel, you won't get it because you are her favorite one and you can't do anything wrong in her eyes, you are perfect while I am just my old boring self that is trying so hard to leave this behind her but always finds a way back here. I am the black sheep in this family here and I am the only one who gets it to feel like this all the time while you live your pretty good life with all your friends."

Daniel looks at the ground while I wait for an answer of him, I was desperate to hear someone say something to me that makes sense in my life, someone to remind me that I am no longer needed here that I can leave this here again and be gone for the rest of my life. "I don't know what you want in your life Sabrina, you were always so hard to read, you were a rebel girl. You were friends with people who bullied others while you just stand by them doing nothing, you only wanted one thing and that was to leave our family and you did everything for it, made dad all sad while mom was the one trying to fix everything in this family. Maybe mom is right after all, it is not us but it is you, you didn't want to live this so you made our lifes horrible by all your stupid actions, we really tried to fix your reputation Sabrina but you didn't accept it or you just didn't saw it."