bar soap ➳ m.c. au

due

due

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michael felt happy.

he never felt happy.

he met charlotte nearly a month ago, and they had spent a lot of time together.

they had learned a lot about each other, and it felt as if they had known each other for years.

michael knew that charlotte didn't like wearing tight clothes, and that she has six siblings - which he had also learned the names of. there was todd, who was four, mo, which was short for mona, and she was six, mel, which was short for melody, she was thirteen, mark, who was eleven, sean, who was fourteen, and aubrey, who was sixteen. charlotte would constantly complain about them, but wouldn't talk about the rest of her home life, and michael could tell it was on purpose.

charlotte knew that michael liked wearing black, and sweaters, and flannels. she knew that he was an only child and only had his mom around, and she never asked about his dad, because he would always get quiet when he was brought up.

they had grown used to each other's presence, so much so that it felt like half of them was missing if the other wasn't there.

michael had finally taken charlotte on a proper date about a week ago, but things still weren't official, but neither of them minded. boyfriend and girlfriend was too generic for them.

both of them we sprawled out on the couch in michael's apartment. he had moved out of his house as soon as he turned 18, he couldn't stand being there. they were talking about stupid things, like they usually did. things that weren't important, but that's just the way they liked it. both of them knew more about life then they thought they did, but they never spoke any of it. philosphy and meanings behind things were never in either of their interests.

"how has life been?" michael asked charlotte after a silence.

"dandy," she rolled her eyes.

"something tells me that life has not been dandy," michael poked charlotte's cheek.

"wow, michael, how'd you know?" charlotte remarked sarcastically.

"don't get sarcastic with me," michael narrowed his eyes. she tried to narrow her eyes back at him, but ended up scrunching up her nose and making a weird face. michael giggled at her face and poked her nose, which caused her to scrunch it up even more.

"stop," she whined. he laughed and looked down at his lap.

"sorry," he laughed and then looked up at her, "why isn't life dandy?"

"because," she shrugged.

"why?" michael pouted and poked her side.

"because my parents," she muttered.

"what did your parents do?" michael tilted his head to the side.

"it's more like what they didn't do," she shrugged, and it all clicked in michael's head.

charlotte always talked about how much she does for her siblings and does around the house. she always talked about where her parents were going with her younger siblings.

"they didn't show up to my high school graduation. they didn't show up to my first school concert in kindergarten, they haven't shown up to anything," charlotte muttered.

"your high school graduation? really?" michael looked at her in disbelief.

"yeah, sean had soccer finals, and mona had her kindergarten concert," charlotte said, a look of disgust taking over her face. michael sighed.

"my dad is gone," michael mumbled. he figured that if they were talking about this stuff, he might as well tell charlotte now.

"i know," charlotte nodded.

"no, i mean like he's gone forever," michael sighed.

"oh," charlotte looked down at her hands.

"he committed suicide when i was seven," michael struggled to say. charlotte's heart stopped. her breath hitched in her throat and it took her a minute to look up into michael's teary eyes.

"michael-"

"he was gone, just like that. no note, no goodbye. i didn't understand, i never will. i thought for the longest time that it was my fault because my mom started getting really nasty to me. i don't know why he left, i had no idea that he was going through that," michael explained. i bit my lip and looked up at michael.

"i've been looking for a place to belong for so long. i don't really have any best friends, i don't really have family. i don't have anybody, and i just can't seem to find a place to belong," charlotte sighed.

"i've been looking for answers for so long, i just want some type of closure," michael shook his head, "it's like when you're driving in a car at night and you see the moon. it's always right there, it seems so accessible, but you can't quite grasp it."

"i know how you feel, it's just like it's right there but it's so hard to actually grab," charlotte looked down at her hands.

michael held out his hand to charlotte, "this is my hand," he told her, she furrowed her eyebrows and waited for him to continue, "you can see it right?" he asked, she nodded. "grab it," he told her, she grabbed his hand and intertwined their fingers, "you've grasped your place to belong."

charlotte smiled and squeezed michael's hand. "it wasn't your fault," she told him. he was confused at first and urged her to continue, "your dad didn't commit because of you, you just feel that way because you're good person, you feel like everything is your fault because you feel like you're not good enough for people, but trust me michael, you're good enough."

michael smiled his signature lazy smile. his eyes crinkled by the sides and his nose scrunched up like a kitten. charlotte thought he was beautiful.

before either of them knew it, their lips were on each others. the kiss should've been gentle in a situation like this, but it was rather aggressive, and neither of them minded. charlotte had found her place to belong and michael had gotten enough answers. for once in their lives they felt content.

[idk how short this is but watevs

im gonna go get ready bc my friend is back from michigan and she was gone the whole summer and even though she can be kind of irritating shes my friend and i love her and i missed her so yeah. then i have to read.

and tbh idk when im gonna update this again but watevsss.

okay bye :) ]