Fifty Shades of Fatherhood

Chapter 13

Christian

I have been a major ass to everyone, so much so, that Ros has asked me to work from home indefinitely. The nerve of her this is still my company, and I can behave as I want. She involved the attorneys and Taylor and getting them to side with her. Ever since the dreaded meeting with my legal team, I have been reluctantly working from home. I was pissed about the baby, and Ros decided I needed distance from everyone as she put it I took my anger out with everyone surrounding me.

I did not know how to deal with emotions running through me. I remember the horrific details of my shit childhood and have no idea how to take on the responsibility to keep someone else from the same fate. Granted Ana was not a crack whore, and I was not a John but lives change in an instant. Ana decided parenthood for us, I realize abortion was out of the question for her, but fatherhood terrified me. I was not ready to be a father, but I did not want to lose Ana. Unfortunately, she vanished before I came to that realization.

Ana disappeared five months ago; I have not spoken or heard from Ana and every day my heart breaks. I miss her terribly and what my life boils down to is either I will lose her for good, or I have to find her and learn to be a father. Although the idea scared the shit out of me, I decided on the later. I could not find my Ana, and I became discouraged from the constant failures. My teams work around the clock exploring every possible lead so that I can apologize and beg for her forgiveness. Since the team has been unsuccessful, I worry about her well being and have very little tolerance for anything not related to finding Ana. I have been short with most of my staff as my patience has expired.

I thought Ray would help me mend our relationship but because of Elena and her need for revenge Ray has refused to speak to me. Right after I lost contact with Ana, Ray showed up unannounced. I am not sure what he wanted, the doorman had said he called the apartment, and a woman approved Ray access to the penthouse elevator. Ms. Jones took the afternoon off, and the only woman in the house was Elena. Although Elena was the one who could have answered the phone she claimed she never spoke to my doorman, I did not believe her, especially after the stunt she pulled.

Elena had come to my home after I had asked her to leave me alone trying to weasel her way back into my life. The pleas she used to convince me we were good together, I found nauseating. I had enjoyed her company in my youth but now the sight of her grated my every nerve. I had been meeting with Taylor in his office when I found her in strolling through my home; her Louis Vuitton pumps echoing off my travertine floors. When I asked what she wanted she simply stated she was there to reclaim what was hers. She did not explain further. I was annoyed that she dared to let herself in and then wander like she had a right to be there. I wanted to figure out how she got in and then I wanted to escort her out of life for good.

I let her sit in my office while I met with Taylor, he pulled a log showing how she had accessed the apartment, I asked him to have all the elevator access codes changed then to come to find me. When I returned I found her snooping in my desk drawers as I raised my eyebrow at her, she sat on my plush couch acting as if I did not just catch her rummaging through the papers in my desk. She offered no apology or explanation of why she was even in my home. After a long moment I asked what she wanted, not that I cared I was trying to stall her until Taylor could secure my place and help me to escort her out of the building. She would not go away quietly this I knew.

The atmosphere was eerily quiet before Elena began pleading with me to let her back into my life. She wanted to drum up our old relationship and wanted me to consider her as my dom. She expected monogamy and had divorce papers ready for me to serve Ana citing irreconcilable differences as the reason. I did not tell her Ana had already served me it was none of her business. As I glanced at the papers in disbelief trying to figure out what to say to this woman to make her leave and why she thought my circumstances were any of her concern.