Switched

Chapter 24

I went into the room shakily. I didn’t know what I was going to say, but I knew that I needed to talk to Drew alone. He didn’t mean to push me, he’d never hurt me. Not on purpose anyway.

    “What do you want?” Drew asked looking at me from the couch. His tie was undone around his neck and his suit jacket was on the cushion next to him.

    “I’m sorry,” I said, voice cracking.

    “For what?” he asked clenching his jaw, “for leaving me to come here, for leading me on, for cheating, for getting me arrested?”

    The more he spoke the guiltier I felt. I knew that I never technically cheated, but I did, my heart no longer belonged solely to Drew.

    “I never meant for any of this to happen,” I spoke stepping closer.

    “Ya know, I meant it when I said that me and Carmin were over. I was doing what I had to to see my son, I made a bad choice, but in the end I chose you, Kriss,” his voice cracked and he put his head in his hands. He was crying. Drew so rarely cried in front of me and when he did it broke my heart, even now I wanted to run to him and tell him everything would be okay. I didn’t, I stood my ground and just watched Drew fall apart in front of me.

    “I knew that it would hurt if I ever lost you,” he cried, “but I didn’t know how bad it hurt to lose you to someone else.”

    “Now you know what it’s like for me,” I said without thinking.

    Drew looked up at me and chuckled, not a chuckle that something was funny, a chuckle that proved nothing about this was funny, “I know what it’s like for you, really? Are you telling me that this is all just payback?”

    “No, that’s not what I meant. I never-”

    “Ya know what’s so bad about all this? I didn’t fall in love with you,I walked into it, I knew that you could hurt me, but I never wanted to think you would,” he stated wiping his face with his hand.

    “I’m sorry. I do love you, Drew, but-”

    “Don’t, don’t tell me you love me if you’re going to leave me.”

    “I just think this is what’s best. I can get the thought of you and Carmin out of my head, and I know you won’t be able to forget about me and Johnathan, and I don’t want us to have a toxic relationship.”

    “What about the baby? Huh, what’s best for it?”

    “You’ll still see him,” I said.

    “I’ve heard that one before.”

    “I’m not Carmin, stop comparing me to her, no matter what issues we have I’m not going to stop you from seeing this baby unless you ever hurt him. He deserves to know both parents.”

    Drew was quiet for awhile after that. Neither one of us knew what to say.

    “I’m sorry for freaking out on you the way I did,” he stated.

    “It’s okay, I deserved it,” I meant it. I knew that I deserved for him to yell at me and so much more for hurting him the way I did.

    “I’ll see ya ‘round?” I asked ending the conversation after another awkward silence.

    “Yeah, you’ll be seeing me,” he said smiling sadly.

    I left the room and my thoughts were preoccupied. I wanted to tell Jonathan that I made up my mind, that I was choosing him, but I couldn’t. We went to the hospital wing and I sobbed as I looked at the man whom had been so strong for me for so many years- now weak and fragile. The world was a colorful blur. A beautiful, yet sad blur.