Shhh...

005

I'm looking over at my son's eyes twinkling at the hustle and bustle of everyday life in the busy city of Los Angeles. He seems to be a totally different boy with his beaming smile not once disappearing from his face. He's taking in the new surroundings after being told this is going to be the place we live for the next few months. Even I feel refreshed and excited and I don't think I was going to be feeling like this. It's been years since I've been back and as we continue our walk along the city centre, I can' t help but feel like my life is where I want it right now. I have my son whom I love dearly and who has totally opened my eyes to life, living it and letting go of the past so that I can move on. I haven't always felt like this because I didn't allow myself to heal but as I walk hand in hand with my little guy I feel content in knowing that he's made my life worth living. If I didn't have him in my life, I don't think I would be strong enough to believe in myself as a mother, parent and protector.

A part of me knows that my son's sudden cheerful behaviour has to do with knowing or maybe just having an inkling that he is nearer to his father. After Jace told me what he and CJ have been talking about when it comes to his father, I have been more open with him. I was so scared to even mention Christian because I didn't want my son to hold onto a memory of someone he didn't know let alone met.

As I watch his face captivated by throngs of people trying to get to work and tourists snapping photos of everything in their path, us included. CJ is looking around and he can't help but touch things that are new to him. Suddenly he squeals, jumps up and down, points and then run towards the biggest toy store I've ever seen. Oh dear, we are going to be here for hours now. Slowly I walk towards him as he leads me inside. I'm now surrounded by rows and rows of different toys, for old and young and the newborn. I think I've just lost my son to this toy store. Even I can't believe I'm enjoying myself being in a toy store. As I'm taking photos of CJ, I hear my name being called out.

"Ana, is that you?"

"Huh?" I turn around to see who it is.

"Ana, as in Ana Fenton. You are Ana Fenton?"

"Yes, who's asking?"

"Girl, it's me Keisha O'Connor from high school. Damn girl, you looking good."

Uh, thanks. You too. Umm, how are you Keisha?"

"Girl, it's same ol' for me, just work and play, you know the usual."

"Ok, well it was nice to see you again Keisha. Umm excuse me I need to get my son."

"We should meet up for coffee some time. Hey that reminds me, did you get an invitation to our 5 year anniversary dinner?. All the girls and guys of our year meet up every 5 years, well it's been a tradition to have it so this year it's going to be in a few weeks' time but let me know if you're interested. Here, take my number, text me and I'll hook up with you soon. It was great to see you Ana, it's been a long time."

I was glad the conversation with Keisha didn't go too long because I couldn't stand her fake ass in school. Bitch be bed hopping like a damn termite in school I'm surprised her ass is still alive. After grabbing CJ from the gaming area, we continued on our expedition. CJ wants to walk into every boutique with its visually stimulating displays and its grandiose welcoming doors. My son is blossoming right before my eyes and it's a beautiful thing to see. A text came through from Jace that he was going to meet us at his favourite restaurant. We walked further down the street towards the restaurant when I felt a little uneasy like someone is watching me. I turned around to see if anyone was following us but there was no one. Maybe I'm just being paranoid seeing this is the first time I've been back here since I left.