I stepped out through the clear door that lead to the brightly flower-filled garden that looked beautiful every day when the sunset hit the brown fence. it doesn't sound the slightest bit attractive but it's the simple things, the natural things in life can turn something so simple into a masterpiece.
the reason I came out here in the first place was to see Steve, I left him a note earlier to meet me out here at this time and to my surprise, he is sitting there waiting for me.
"Hi" I speak clearing my throat beforehand, Steve turns around quickly, his baby blue eyes sparkling in the warm glow "beautiful isn't it?" I ask in an attempt to start a conversation
"sure is" he replies, quietly
"I'm sure you can guess why I wanted to speak to you" I responded, sheepishly, fiddling with the hem of my sleeves
"I can take a guess" Steve answers, he wasn't upset or happy, his voice was blank
"It wouldn't be fair to you, to me, it wouldn't be fair" I mustered all the courage I could to say that
"why?" Steve looks up at me with sadness on his face
"you know why" I responded, trying to sound gentle but not let my emotion get the best of me at the same time. it broke me leaving my siblings and losing my parents, I couldn't let love tear me apart again, even if this was killing me to not listen to what my heart was aching for.
"I do, that doesn't answer the question that I asked you though" the blonde man who I've madly fallen for pushed his feelings aside. I could tell he was.
"you know I wouldn't answer that, it would only cause more damage" I reply about to get up and walk away like I had done to the previous people in my life
"you're right" Is the last thing I heard before I walked back into the house, not looking back.
I stumbled into my room with my emotions all over the place. I went straight to the shower and let the hot water emerge and run all over my skin, washing away the pain and regret from only a few moments ago. I had my reasons, I kept that as an excuse to not go back even though it was the only one against the million reasons to get out and speak to Steve.
This started with a kiss in a medic van after I was shot, the scar has healed and doesn't phase me but instead of leaving me with a traumatic experience it left me a heavy feeling of love that I don't know how to handle.
The calming shower wasn't helping so I decided to go down to Callie in the lab, she always gave advice to me and no matter if it was good or bad, it would help. "hey cal, oh hey wanda" I approach the two ladies sitting at the desk and talking whilst I tied my still wet hair into a messy bun "hey ad" they say back in unison.
"can I talk to you guys for a bit?" I ask taking a seat next to Wanda, they both smile and nod their heads, awaiting my words "me and Steve kissed and-"
"wait what?" Callie practically shouts in astonishment "when did this happen?"
"if you let me finish...you would know it was the same day as the mission and after you finished patching me up" I explain, sarcastically rolling my eyes
"Okay so what does this mean?" Wanda asked intrigued, trying to learn about the situation
"It obviously meant more to him than for an in the moment type of kiss so I did some thinking and the more I thought about it, the more I've realised that I've fallen for him but I told him we can't be together" I ranted to the both of them making sure to pronounce my words carefully, if I was trying to get a long sentence out I had the tendency to skip over letters.
"you can't or don't want to?" Callie wondered with a cunning smile on her face as if she already knew the answer
"I want too with every bone in me but I'm scared too" I answer, it was helping to let my feelings out to people other than myself and Pietro
"you can't worry about what will happen, you can only take the leap of faith" Wanda chimed in, sharing what was in her marvellous brain
"what if something bad happens?" I question, getting more comfortable in the chair
"nothing runs smoothly but then you work with it and you can only hope for the best" my best friend answered sounding confident, I know wanda will probably understand more because of her and vision than Callie who hasn't got the same troubles as we would in a relationship but it's always good to hear different insights.
"It's going to have to be something that I have to do alone. thank you lovely ladies I'll see you later" I finish off my questions and concerns with them to do with the subject at hand then leave them to get back to what they were doing before I walked in. I didn't want to fall in love, get attached or even feel the need to protect or care for Steve as more than a friend but it's too late now and what I do with that bundle of feelings is what I'll work out when I can.
