The Misfits

A Little Bit of Betrayal | Halden

It has been a couple of weeks since Estelle and I began dating and I still haven't gotten the courage to kiss her yet. I'm kind of a pussy that way and I hate myself for it, so I thought that today after school I'd finally do it. I'm going to ask her out to Starbucks because that is where we went when we first began dating. And then I'm going to kiss her.

Gathering up the courage was probably the hardest part. Asking her on a date was easy, getting her mom's blessing was easy, but a kiss? Heck no!

I waited outside of the school for her. Estelle has been acting really weird lately. Most of the time instead of some cute hairstyle she'll always throw her hair into a messy bun and wear a pair of jeans or even sweats with an oversize t-shirt and flip flops. She's a lot quieter now and when she smiles it's a really sad smile.

Estelle came outside with her messy ponytail, jeans, and a Beatles t-shirt, black flip flops and all. She gave me a small smile and I slipped my hand into her's. "You ready for Starbucks, Es?" I asked, smiling at her.

It was kind of sad that we were the exact same height, I wish I was a little bit taller than her. Estelle nodded. "Yeah..." She replied, trailing off and staring into what I thought was space. Later on I figured out that she was really staring at Jake and Gwen.

Since I didn't really have my own car [ and the reasons why I suck list keeps getting longer ], we walked to Starbucks. I held the door open and she shuffled inside and picked out a booth to sit in. A waitress walked over and asked for our order.

"I'll just have some plain coffee... Thanks." Estelle mumbled after I ordered myself coffee with cream and a piece of red velvet cake. That's another thing with Estelle, she hasn't been eating much lately and never eats any kind of sugar anymore.

The waitress made our food and gave it to us while we sat in silence. I didn't really know what to say to her, Estelle has been kind of a poor sport lately.

"Hey, what's wrong, Es? And don't say that you're fine because I know that you aren't fine." I took her hand into mine.

"I'm fine." Estelle said against my wishes.

I sighed and shook my head. "No you aren't, please tell me what's up."

"Nothing! I said I'm okay! It's nothing!" Estelle snapped at me, glaring fiercely while she grabbed her coffee and downed it without saying anything to me. She set it aside and crossed her arms while the waitress walked over and poured in some more without asking.

I let out another sigh and removed my hand from her's. "How are you doing with math?" I asked, taking a sip from my own coffee.

"Fine." She replied, obviously still mad at me. She wouldn't look at me in the eye.

"Are you ready for the test?"

"I guess."

"What's your favorite animal?"

"Dunno."

"Are you excited for fall break?"

"Guess so."

"What do you want to be when you grow up?"

"Dunno."

I ran a hand through my hair. The maximum amount of words that she was using is two words and she always said them in a mumble. She'd already drank three cups of coffee and we haven't even been here a half an hour. She began fidgeting around with the hairband around her wrist, biting her nails, playing with her ponytail and looking anywhere but in my eyes.

"Do you want to go somewhere else?" I asked.

Estelle shrugged and we both stood up. I left the money on the table along with tip and we walked outside and just around the neighborhood. Estelle still wasn't saying anything to me and doing the same exact thing she was doing inside Starbucks.

"I give up, Estelle. If you don't tell me what's wrong them I'm going home." I said, looking over at her with what I hoped was a concerned face and not a glare. What she did was completely unexpected.

She grabbed me by my shirt and pulled me into a kiss that was intense from the beginning. I kissed her back and wrapped my arms around her waist, pulling her closer while she kissed deeper and deeper, running her hands through my hair. Her tongue pressed against my lips, asking for entrance. I gladly slipped it open.

We continued kissing and I felt like fireworks were exploding over us and I felt tingly all over.

We could have been standing there for hours but time seemed to be important. The only real thing was Estelle.

Finally, we pulled apart, panting like we'd just run a mile. That's when I realized that Estelle was crying. Tears were pouring down her face.

I put my arm on her shoulder. "What's wrong, Es?" I whispered.

Estelle shook her head and took in a deep, shaky breath. "I kissed Jake." She told me.

I removed my hand. I felt a flare of jealousy or anger or something inside of my stomach and I wanted to punch somebody. "When?" I asked, voice trembling like her own. Except mine were from anger.

"The day that you texted me. Right when I got back from kissing him you texted me and I... He doesn't even look at me anymore... And..." She didn't seem able to continue but I didn't care. Her kissing him right before I texted her didn't matter, she didn't know.

What really bugged me is that she still cared if he looked at her or not or if he still talked to her. What bugged me is that she was sad Jake didn't seem to want to remember it, that he wanted to just leave it behind.

"What was that kiss about?" I asked her.

Estelle shrugged. "It just sort of happened. He just leaned forward and-"

"No, I mean ours." I snapped, interrupting her and clenching my fists so tight that my fingernails dug into my skin.

Estelle stared at her feet. "I wanted to see if ours mattered more to me than Jake's." She whispered.

"Did it?"

Estelle didn't say anything. "DID IT?!" I yelled at her. I felt a pain so intense inside of my chest that I thought it was going to burst. But she still didn't say anything. I resisted the temptation to shake her or slap her and I spun around and marched home, leaving Estelle crying.

Forget her, I was so tired of her and Jake, of her saying that I meant more to her over and over again. And all of the sudden, it was obvious that she really did like Jake more than she liked me. Than she would ever like me.

It was a lie over and over and over again. 'I love you' 'I love you more than I will ever love Jake' 'You're fantastic' And the list went on but none of it was true.

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Yeah, I know it's another short, cheesy chapter with Estelle in it but it's my book so yeah. ;)

Thank you so much for all of the reads!! You guys mean so much to me and I know that I post a lot but I have overflowing ideas and I don't like it when authors take forever to post another chapter so... Yeah. :D

You guys mean so much to me and I am so grateful! Thanks for reading!

- Cat