...And It's Blue

5

"Hi," Ashton chirped as he stood beside me.

Ashton Smith, apparently the most popular guy in school, also happened to be Aiden's younger brother. He had decided to become friends with me. I couldn't help but think it was either because of Aiden or out of pity, because why else would the popular guy want to become friends with someone who had been bullied all her high school life?

Not surprisingly, the bullying had stopped ever since we started talking, so I didn't mind. Even if it was a pity friendship, I would make use of it if it meant I wouldn't get bullied anymore.

I greeted him back and fetched my books.

"Have you decided what college you're going to?" he asked me. I shook my head. I had no plans for my future, and it was about time I thought about it. There was just another month until I graduated from school, and I hadn't taken anything concerning college seriously.

"What about you? Any idea where you're going?"

"Yup. The same college as my brother." I had no idea which college Aiden went to, and I didn't bother questioning him further.

I hadn't seen Maddie in school for almost two weeks now. A lot of people thought she had left school or been suspended, but no one knew what really happened.

"I'll meet you after school, Lacey. Bye," Ashton said, and we went to our classes.

***

Finally, a break from school that wasn't on the weekend. I had thought I would be productive before going to bed yesterday, but I woke up at 11 in the morning and had already lost half of the day. Now, I could not do anything. I decided to go to the park that held so many memories.

The park was filled with children, and I remembered when Ava and I were the ones fighting for the swings. I decided to walk around the park since it was the perfect weather. It wasn't too hot or cold, the paths were dry, and the flowers were in full bloom. I put on my earphones and walked around. The sky was a pretty shade of blue and white, and for the first time in years, I felt at peace.

I bumped into someone and quickly apologized.

"You really should pay attention to where you're going," said that familiar voice. I groaned and looked up at him.

"Yes, yes, I already apologized," I continued walking, but he fell into step with me, and I didn't question it.

"So, what are you doing here this early?" he questioned, and I snickered.

"It's 12 PM, Aiden. It's not early." We continued walking when a question flashed in my head. "Do you live around here? We seem to run into each other a lot."

"I do, actually. I live a few blocks down from your house."

"No way. Seriously?"

"Why would I lie about it?"

"I don't know," I shrugged my shoulders.

He suddenly bumped his shoulder into mine, and I looked at him questioningly. He shook his head. We did that back and forth until I pushed him, and he tripped over his legs but did not fall, much to my dismay. I ran away from him, laughing hysterically when he started chasing me, but I wasn't fast enough. He caught up and pulled me by my wrist, turning me around so I was facing him and we were extremely close.

"Are you planning on letting me go, or what?" I snapped my fingers in front of his face, and he awkwardly let go. "I know I'm too hot for you to handle—"

"Get off your high horse, Lacey. You're not hot, and that phrase has gotten a little too old, hasn't it?"

I rolled my eyes at him. I looked at the time on my watch and realized it was already 1 PM. I hadn't even noticed how one hour had passed by. I had to visit my parents today, so I left the park after bidding Aiden goodbye. 

***

I went to the flower shop near the graveyard to buy two bouquets of flowers—white lilies and red roses—my parents' favorite flowers. I set down the flowers in front of them and sat down. I wasn't sure what to say. Everything had been the same ever since they passed away.

"Mom, Dad, how are you?" I started with a small smile etched on my face and paused for a while. It might have been years since their passing, but that did not mean I could ever be over it. I loved them so much, and then one day, out of nowhere, they were not there with me anymore.

"I have been doing quite well. The bullying has stopped, and I made a friend at school. He is a nice kid. He is Aiden's younger brother. Aiden is the guy I met at the grocery store," I chuckled. I was talking nonsense. I just wanted to talk since the silence bothered me. "He has also been nice to me," I choked on my tears and wiped them away from my face.

"Mom, Dad, I miss you guys so much. I cannot stop thinking about how different everything would be with you around. We would be going on trips, having dinner together, talking to each other before going to bed. I miss everything we used to do. The house feels so lonely now without you guys around. Everything seems so difficult. It all hurts so much." Tears streamed down my face, and I could barely speak.

"I haven't been able to sleep lately. I always dream of you guys, and when I wake up, you're not there to comfort me. The dreams get worse every day, and I don't know what to do. I know you guys want me to be happy, and I'm trying, but it's so difficult. I'll try harder for you guys. I will be happy for you. I love you so much, Mom, Dad." I wiped the tears completely off my face and walked out of the cemetery.

I walked back home and decided to sleep. I wasn't tired, but I hadn't gotten proper sleep in the past few days. The nightmares were getting worse, and I did not want to see such horrible dreams about my parents, so I avoided sleeping at night most of the time. I wished I had been with them when it happened. At least then I wouldn't have been left all alone. I could've still been with my parents.

I closed my eyes and tried to sleep, but I remembered graduation, which was a week away. While everyone's parents would be attending, I would be all by myself. I hated thinking like this, but whenever I remembered I could never have what others had, I couldn't help but think of all the things we could've had as a family.

I shook my head clear of any thoughts and drifted off to sleep.