...And It's Blue

25

We were drifting apart. Even when we would meet it would feel a bit weird. We wouldn't know what to talk about, we were becoming some what formal with each other. We would rarely call and text each other. Meeting him was another huge task. We would meet once in a week or two. I had a weird feeling.

I was heading to the mall with Ava,Emma and Zoe. I was listening to music and bobbing my head and tapping my foot along with the music. Once we reached the mall we went to the arcade. I had agreed to go with them only if we didn't go shopping and it took half an hour to convince them.

We first went for bowling and our scores were pathetic. I mean who scores 34, 33,30 and 28? Us. Only us. But at least I won. We then played pretty much all the games and we were tired. We went to the food court and bought pizza. I remembered that it was Ava's birthday in a few days so I went to a shop to buy her a gift, leaving the girls behind since they were complaining about how tired they were.

Soon enough I saw the three of them rushing to another shop to buy dresses. I chuckled at those three and went on ahead to a cosmetics shop. I remembered the last time we had been here and she was swooning over this one perfume. I thought of buying her the same perfume. I asked the guy at the cash counter to gift wrap and went outside after taking the perfume.

While I was searching for the 3 shopping obsessed girls I caught a glimpse of a black haired guy and it looked way too familiar. When the person turned around I realised that it was Aiden. I was about to approach him when I saw that he was not alone. His hands were wrapped around another girl's waist. They were both smiling wide like they were having the best time of their life. He told her something and she pecked his lips.

I glanced at the girl only to find out that it was Maddie. I felt betrayed and tears were threatening to flow out of my eyes and I dashed out of the mall. Ava,Emma and Zoe saw me and ran after me but I didn't wait for them. I continued running till I reached my house. I couldn't think straight, heck I couldn't even think. I couldn't believe it. I thought Aiden didn't like her so why were they together and why did she peck his lips.

Maybe I was overthinking. No, I wasn't. She kissed him and he let her do that even though we were in a relationship. I didn't know what to do. I didn't know if I had to ask him about her. What if he had been going out with her all this time? There were so many thoughts running in my mind and crying didn't help me either. It just caused my head to explode out of the pain.

I rushed to the graveyard and sat in front of the two most important people in my life.
"I thought he liked me. I thought we would be together forever. Was I just too naive to think that everything would be just fine?" I choked on my tears.
"C'mon mom, dad! Answer me! It's always me that's speaking to you! Why did you have to leave me like this?"

"Sorry. I just don't know what I'm saying" I sighed.
"But really though was I too naive? I had to know that no one as good as him... what I had thought about him, would just randomly enter your life and make you all happy right? Don't the things that make you happy the most hurt you the most? In one way or the other" I laughed bitterly.

"I can't believe it. He was with another girl, a girl he apparently hated. I can't blame her though cause she wasn't the one who broke my heart. It was him, Aiden. I should be happy to have my friends, especially Ava and Jay since they were there with me since childhood but why can't I? Why does it feel like I was not good enough for him that he had to choose someone else over me?"

"He said so many things like he meant it but now they all seem like lies. Do you guys think I'm overreacting? I don't know what's happening to me" I restrained myself from crying again.
I got up, dusted off my pants and headed to the exit. I hadn't even brought them flowers today. I just burden my parents with my problems and walk away and continue the same every week.

I brushed all the thoughts aside and tried clearing my mind by getting ice cream. My head would definitely pain a lot but I needed to calm down and nothing better than an ice cream to calm you down, right?

***

It has been a week already since I saw him in the mall. He asked me to meet him at the cafe today. I had been ignoring him all week but I knew I had to face him sooner or later and sooner is better than later when your problems stack up more.

I got ready and left to the cafe. I had covered up my dark circles in circles and applied light make up to look presentable. I looked horrible because of the lack of sleep and there is no denying it. My mind was filled with thoughts day and night. I was scared that this would be the end to us, that we would never see each other ever again. I was scared.

I reached the cafe and went inside. He was sitting in our usual place. I put on a smile and walked towards him, not realising that I completely ignored Levi, my ex coworker. I just hoped he wouldn't break up with me. I didn't want that. That would be the last thing I would want. But when I remember about what happened at the mall, my blood would boil and the only thing I can think of is breaking up with him cause he practically cheated on me.

"Lace.... how are you?" He asked as soon as I sat down.
"I'm good... so why did you want to meet me?" I didn't bother returning the question. I just wanted to get straight to the point.
"I wanted to tell you something" he said, avoiding eye contact at all cost.
Please don't tell you want to break up. Please please. I closed my eyes and nodded my head. I could already feel the tears in my eyes. Don't you dare cry Lace, don't cry.

"I don't know how to say this... but our relationship has been going downhill. I really can't do this" he pointed to me and then to himself. He continued "I thought we would last forever but I don't think we should continue this. I'm really sorry Lacey but this is it"
Even though I was expecting this I couldn't control myself when a drop of tear betrayed me and rolled down my cheeks.

"I- I understand. I just h- hope you'll be happy... I- I love you" I stood up and ran out of the cafe. I needed to let him know that no matter what happened I would love him. I don't know or I didn't realise when like turned to love but it did and I had to get that out even if it was just after breaking up with him. Pathetic I know, but I just... I just needed an explanation and our relationship going downhill wasn't a good reason nor a proper explanation.

If that was really the problem then we could work things out. Maybe he really felt that I wasn't good enough, just like those kids in my school. Just like everybody else. He too, was like everyone and I was just a nobody. He found someone better and he moved on but he didn't realise that he had left my heart broken into pieces and there was no going back now.

I reached my home and I cried into the pillow. I screamed, I shouted but nothing worked. I felt weak. I didn't have my dinner and went straight to bed. I was tired from all the crying. I knew it was of no use but crying is better than bottling up my feelings, and so I cried until I passed out.