Atlas: FTWD (Nick/Troy) Fanfiction

12 // mercury

"god knows, i am dissonance. waiting to be swiftly pulled into tune"

mercury, sleeping at last

mercury - messenger of the gods; the planet of day-to-day expression and communication

Troy

"So...what was that about?" Nick speaks up after we reach his car, both of us shivering and shaking from his freezing-ass leather seats. He immediately turns on the heat, allowing me to mull over that question while the car blasts heat in our faces.

"Old friend...really my only friend," Nick seems to notice what I said and cocks an eyebrow at me.

"My only childhood friend," I correct myself and he nods in approval, a ghost of smile back on his lips. After my unexpected heart-to-heart with Nate, I think I've finally realized it. And there's no hiding it anymore. My sexuality has always been a point of contention in my life, seeing as if I ever even hinted the idea that I might be attracted my gender, my father would have had my head on a stick. Or would've locked me in the dark basement for an entire night. Either one.

"Whatcha thinking about up there?" Nick tugs me out of my fog and I shake it off, trying not to delve back into my utterly clouded past.

"Nothing of importance," I smile in his direction and he returns it before bringing the cup of cocoa to his lips. When he pulls it away, the slight ring of liquid shines in the low lighting and I find myself hesitating to tell him about it. I just stare at him for a moment, at his slicked back hair, his one hand flung over the steering wheel, his wrist leading the way as his fingers dance to the Queen song in the background. For the first time in I think forever, I can admit that the man next to me is beautiful. Absolutely stunning.

And, for once, my subconscious doesn't rush in to try and erase that thought from ever forming. It stays quiet. And damn, it feels so good to be able to admit that.

***

"So, as you all know, we're going to be starting our few weeks-long discussion of one of my favorite novels of all time, I'm not sure about you all. I must say, I'm the opposite of the norm, I happen to be a sucker for sad endings," Mr. Mather chuckles and the majority of the class laughs along with him, but I can't seem to find the humor in it.

"Who the hell likes sad endings?" I hear Nick murmur next to me and I shake my head in response, having no idea either. I wouldn't say I'm in love with sappy-ass endings, but I'd much prefer one of those over some shit like Paper Towns. Shit was just disappointing. And yes, I did read that book. I already admitted I was gay, right?

Glancing over, I can see him doodling in his journal and I suppress a laugh at the idea of Mather seeing all these drawings when we turn them in at the end of the semester. I'll tell him eventually, just not yet. He looks all too interested in whatever small doodle he's spewing out of his mind, so I'll leave him be for a bit.

"I just find them far more intriguing than the typical ending we're all searching for. Take superhero movies for examples, or epic poems. We all know what we're getting going into them, but seeing things shift within the story and twist readers on their heads at the last moment is what really creates a realistic and compelling story, for me at least," As Mather blathers on about the different themes we'll be focusing on in the story, I can't help but linger on his words for a while longer. Sad endings are more realistic, there's no doubt about it, but we dive into fiction books to forget about the real world, at least for a little while. What good are made-up stories if all they do is hurt us just as much as the outside world? Maybe I'm being a bit too critical or whiny, but I know from past experience, all I ever used books for when I was little was for an escape. My reality was shit, but the stories I read, the characters I became, allowed me to forget it all for a little while.