Blackbird // Mclennon

While My Guitar Gently Weeps

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     " With every mistake, we must surely be learning. "

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     My heart was full of pure and utter joy, today was nothing short of amazing. Spending quality time with the one I truly love, doing what I truly love. I skipped home thinking about everything that had happened. I can't believe John likes my song writing and my voice all that much. I thought maybe I was getting in over my head with this one. Thinking about the fact he likes it made my heart skip a beat! Unfortunately, I knew once I walked through my front door, it'd all be torn to shreds.

     I opened the door and took in a deep breath as I shut the door behind me. My father was already sitting in the stairwell with his hands folded.

     "Hey! ...Where have you been, son? These past few days? You've barely been home. ...Hardly see ye, anymore." He asked, standing up. "Makes me feel real worried."

     "I know... And I'm sorry. I've been at... my mate John's house, Da'." I explained in a slight whisper.

     He scratched his chin and furrowed his brows, "You've been coming and going as you please for a whole week and I've just been letting you!" His words became a bit harsher as he spit them out. "Why do I enable such God-awful behavior, anyway? Maybe it's because... I haven't been payin' enough attention, eh?"

     "I- I don't mean to disrespect ye or anythin'..." I was now very nervous. "S'not my intentions at all."

     "Yeah? I beg to differ. You never listen to me anymore! What's gotten into you, James?" He grinded his teeth as he spoke.

     "I really do try to listen, but I jus-" I tried to defend myself.

     "Bullshit!" He was now in my face, his breath reaking of booze, per usual. I reeled back a bit in fear, knowing what was coming next.

     "Da', please! I didn't mean to hur-" I was shouting back, but to my avail, he punched me right in the jaw,

"Fuck! ...Shit. Why do ye do this?! What happened to the Father I once had years ago? Would Ma' had wanted this?"

     "You're speaking mighty brave for someone who just got punched in the face, James." My father stood over me, tears welling up in my eyes. "I don't care what Mary would've wanted, you deserve this. Now, quit talking about her!" He took a belt that was hanging on the staircase and snapped it, threateningly. "You don't even have the right to speak your Mother's name in vain like that."

     I dashed upstairs and locked myself in my room, sobbing into my pillow. This felt like a nightly routine, now. "Oh John, how I wish ye were here." I choked up. Suddenly, I got an idea. I ran over to the telephone and dialed up John's number.

     "Ello?" John's raspy, tired voice called out.

     "J- John!" I cried.

     "Macca?! Is everythin' alright?!" He asked in a nervous tone.

     "No! No, its not! My Father he... he's tryin' to... he's fuckin' lost it! ...He's drunk." I tried to hold back the tears, but they began to fall anyway.

     "I'll be there as soon as I can. Please, be safe in the meanwhile. Stay strong. Because I know ye are." He hung up the phone in a hurry, sending me to tears. I knew he was on his way here, but it was nerve racking to not hear his voice any more during the situation i'm in.

     "You better open this door, James. Don't make me do it!" My father screamed at me. "You won't like it once I get in there!"

     I was curled up in a ball on my bed... millions of thoughts flooding my brain all at once. How was Mikey? Has Da' been harsh with my brother since I've been gone? Would it all be my fault for abandoning someone so much smaller than me? Fuck, when will John be here? What will happen when he arrives? Will my Da' ever stop any of this?!