Pills //HS (COMPLETED) ✔

Ch-69 : I'm selfish ☹

Song for the chap- The Good Side by Troye Sivan

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I walk towards the first Zayn. He is clean shaved and face cast down. Pretty and beautiful as always. I kneel down and sit in front of this Zayn in front of me.

"Just do quick- "

"Shh." I raise my index finger at the guys silencing them. Slowly and carefully I take his hand in mine. He lifts his head up and he looks up at me. His eyes show no emotion, his hand doesn't have any goosebumps after I touched him. I lift my hand up and cup his cheeks. He doesn't react to them.

I move on the second Zayn and kneel in front of him. He has a blonde quiff making him look so adorable. As usual, I take his hand in mine and he doesn't react to me. I hope and wait for him to react to me or something. But he's the same.

"The time- " I raise my finger again cutting them off.

I kneel in front of the third Zayn. He has a full black hair that is pushed back with a band. He is wearing a jacket and pant. I run my fingers through his hair and lift his hand up in mine. He lifts his head up and his eyes glistening at me.

I smile at him but he doesn't smile back at me. He gulps and extracts his hand away from me before looking down.

With a frown, I move to the fourth Zayn. He has quite long hair and beard. He has a suit on making him look like an elegant gentleman. When I grab his hand up in mine he looks up and smiles at me. I smile back and reach my hand at the back of his hand before bringing his forehead against mine. His breathing hits my lips while he holds on to my hand.

I move my hand and walk towards the fifth Zayn. He has blonde hair and a black beard. He's wearing a jacket and black pants. He looks up at me with blood-filled eyes and black tears. I cup his cheeks in mine making him lean towards my hand. That's what I expect from my Zayn.

I move to sixth Zayn who has pinkish hair with a white shirt on. He holds the lovable attitude in his eyes. He's silent calm and mysterious when I grab on his hand.

Then I walk to the last Zayn who is the face of Xander. Whole blond hair and beard. He has a brown suit on and more tattoos scribbled on his neck. I take his hand in mine but he doesn't react the slightest.

I take a deep breath and look down at seven Zayns. I run my finger through my hair trying to think. Think about what can bring me to him. Who is the real Zayn?

....

"Xander?" I looked around for him in his room but he didn't respond until I found him in the staircase with his hands curled in his blonde hair, his toned body leaned against the wall as he breathed heavily.

I rushed towards him and held his hand making him look up at me with a confused face. "Are you okay?" I asked him, my eyes staring right into his brown ones. He nodded his head and threw his arms around me hugging me close.

"Hey," I ran my fingers through his hair.

"Just hold me close." He mumbled against my ear.

"Of course, Xander." I kissed his neck and stayed in his arms. I didn't know what happened to him. He would never tell me what he was thinking.

Sometimes he seemed happy and friendly with me. Sometimes he would tease me and cuddle me close. Sometimes he acted like he didn't want to be with me in the first place. Sometimes he would act like he didn't ever talk with me. Sometimes he would just snap and ignore me. Sometimes he would become lean and thin due to his eating disorder. There were various different sides of him and honestly it scared me.