Guardians Of Peace

Guardians Of Peace: Chapter 9

•••Emile•••

I lie awake in my bed thinking about what happened only hours ago. Her lips perfectly fit to mine, her tongue in my mouth, not in a gross way though. It was nice, cool, subtle yet exploding. I wish I had done more, but I was shocked, frozen in time.

Now all I can think about is her. When she dropped me off at home she didn't say a word to me, she just drove off. Once inside I had a short conversation with my mother then quickly went to my room. With the exceptions of a shower and a quick dinner, I've been here since. Thinking, wanting, lusting.

I'd be lying if I said sex hasn't come to mind. Now that I know what her mouth feels like my imagination wants to run wild. I would run away with it if it wasn't for what she said,

"I think I love you too." She had said, hesitantly. Unsure of what she really wanted. I never thought ,in all the years I've known her, that she'd be gay, too. I just assumed she was straight. Maybe she hadn't thought about it either.

"This is what you've wanted isn't it?" I ask myself out loud. It is what I wanted, but why do I feel guilty? Why do I feel undeserving? Probably because she just drove off, she didn't say a word about it. I don't know how she feels about the kiss. Does she want it again? Was it a mistake? Did she really mean that she loves me?

"She didn't say she loves you, fool." The harsh truth jumps out of my mouth. She didn't, she said she thinks she loves me. She's confused. Shit, I'm confused too.

My mother knocks on my door, "Emmy, I'm going out." She pops her head inside my room and continues, "I don't know when I'll be back in the morning probably. you okay staying here alone?"

"Yeah. Where are you going?" Its 9:00 on a saturday night.

My mother hesitates to answer. After a few seconds she says, "Im just going out, sweetie. Maybe you can ask Patris to spend the night here?"

"Mom, it's 9pm on a Saturday, aren't we going to church in the morning?" It's not like her to go out all night. I'm suspicious.

"No Emile. Probably not." She sighs.

"What's wrong?" I get out of bed and walk over to my mother. She has the door closed enough so that only her head is showing. "What's going on?"

"Nothing, Emile." She's a bad liar. As I open the door all the way she tries backing up, trying to hide what she's wearing. She's too late, I open the door to reveal my 44 year old mother, wearing a tight black dress that shows off a very well kept body I didn't even know she had.

"So, I'm going out tonight. I think I'm allowed one night, right? I haven't been out in 20 years." She starts babbling defensively. She looks very pretty. I never noticed how attractive my mother is, most likely because of the unflattering clothes she always wears. She's a house wife first. Now that I think about it I've never seen her go out and do anything fun, if you don't count amusement park trips and my birthday parties. She never does anything nice for herself.

"Go have fun mom." I give her an approving smile. Then thinking about the last few tear filled days she's had, I add, "Lord knows you deserve it."

She nods and walks away, she walks unsteadily in her high heels. I walk behind her down the stairs and watch her grab her purse and head for the door.

"Hey mom?" I call to her as she opens the door she turns around, "You look beautiful." She smiles at me and says "I love you, Emmy." Then leaves.

It's been a while since my mother and I have been nice to each other. I've always blamed her for the problems in my parents' marriage without even knowing the full story. I've always been a daddies girl, so ignoring the fact that he's always gone is easy for me.