Dedicated Forever

A Memory...

Flash Back....

Growing Up...I guess you can say i didn't have nothing.Abusive mother,on drugs cause of my father.Yea i mean i had it bad.I know she loved me.When he would leave or be sleep.She would hold me all night after i cried.She never showed her hurt.She was strong,well thats until he got her into using coke.Than unfortunetly she begin to hurt me worse.She stopped telling me she loved me,she stop laying with me at night.The looks i was being given were cold. Than one night I was about 14 i was just comming home from school. I walked in the door and my mama was sitting on the couch accompinied by 3 men. By my guess they were her suppliers. One of the men got up and began yelling how he wasn't about to do it.Before he could protest any further the big black man pulled a gun saying how the boss would kill them if its not paid somehow.By than my mother got up and came in front of me saying.

"Come upstairs with me baby. I need to get you washed up."she said to me.

She took me up stairs,took off my clothes,and washed me.I was already begining to grow in certain areas so she took her razor and did what she had to do.After she was done she took me in the room throwing lotion at me after that she walked me downstairs completly naked.......

And that was the end of that today im celebrating my 21st birthday and im sitting reminicing on my past. (sigh) Anyway I finally agreed to go to the club tonight wth my bestfriend Cherish.Cherish has been my bestfriend since diaper days and she's really the only one that knows my secret.Since everybody gave up on my moms after all those years of drugs.I havent seen her since i was 15.And my father i havent seen him since i was 12. After they both left me Cherish's parents took me in since they were my godparents. When I was 16 I met the boy of my dreams named Lamont and by 18 we had our first child named Josiah.But unfortunatly we broke up and he left me with our 4 month old son.And since me and cherish were 19 her parents brought us an apartment a couple blocks down and thats where we been every since.Cherish,my son, and I.She always turnt up,always partying,and always out with guys.I guess im just ugly.I'm lightskinned,curvy,but i where glasses.I guess im fat. Most boys say im thick but i don't beleive them i guess i was put down so much as a child i hardly see what they are talking about.It was around 3 o'clock an she told me i needed to be dressed and ready by 5.So i went up to my room and hopped in the shower.On my way out i stopped and looked in the mirror. Im Ugly,nonobdy would want me.especially with this scar.'SMH'. "Dont worry girl you look fine" I hear from my doorway.

" Yea okay." was all i could say.She ran in my closet and pulled out the dress that she brought me and a big black box.

"Happy Birthday Big Daddy!!! Know put it on" she exclaimed to me. All i could do was laugh and continue to get dressed.

My mind kept drifting back and forth,i try and i try to forget but its real,it happened,but its so long ago that now its just a memory.

Hey guys this is just the first chapter.I really just wanted yu guys to get a feel of the story before i actually continue it so Read and Comment,Vote as well. And don't forget about OUR LOVE