Dear Umi, I love you

Dear Umi- I wish you well.

 Thanks for the 500 reads. I love you all.  ❤

" With new beginnings come endings, whether we like it or not ".

Dear Umi, 

I'm the oldest but I feel like curling up in a ball and forgetting my responsibilities. But I made a promise so that isn't an option.

Today is the first day of Ramadan.  I'm confused. I feel as though I use that word loosely. Do I?  I need a distraction. This apartment feels stuffy, there are portraits of you everywhere and the flowers I keep next to them, are dying.

Death, is inevitable, or so they say.

This apartment scares me. Since last week I have adopted a cat. A black one. I remember when I was kid you used to say "astagfirullah!" every time you saw a black cat or dog. I never understood why, I still don't.

 It's staring at me. I swear it can feel my pain. It snuggles against me every time I feel like crying. It feels sympathy for me but that fact doesn't stop the tears fall down occasionally.

I just came home from school, you know I'm training to become a teacher. I remember the first time I told you that you said, "You are capable of so much, a teacher anybody could do."  I kept quiet, I didn't want to start an argument.

But overtime you saw how much I liked being around kids and educating them in anyway I could. You pulled me to the side one day and told me, "Forget what I said honey. Do what you want to do, I just thought I knew what was right for you."

I have always looked up to you, loved you and adored you, but that day, words couldn't explain what I felt for you.

I got sidetracked, I wanted to tell you something. I called my 'would be' mother in-law and called off the marriage. I explained why I couldn't commit myself to a marriage at the moment and she understood. She was so sweet, she promised to come by my apartment by the end of the week to talk.

With everything going on, I'm trying my best not to forget my lord, Allah. I remember how you always asked me if I had prayed and reminded me that I was mature enough to know to outcome of not praying.

I wish I could tell you everything but I have a very busy day, I have to make iftaar and study for an upcoming exam. All boring no play. I feel really awkward ending this letter, on that note Umi, I really hope you read these letter's I actually pour my heart into them.

I wish you nothing but the best. 

Love, Jassalina.

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A/N

Have you guys seen the new cover? It's amazing and it's why this chapter is dedicated to the lovely Book_Crasher. Thank you so much, I wish I knew how to make awesome covers.

Please check her out, I'm in love with her story 'A scoop of advice' and hopefully she will update soon.  Bye loves.

Astagfirullah:I seek forgiveness of Allah.