Shadowteer

Chapter 34

"Are you okay now?"

"Okay, no. But I feel better. Thank you." He nodded and got up, stretching. He had given her full permission to sob in his chest and they had been in the position for minutes. He was sure seven minutes had come and gone.

"You know we should really get going. Pretty sure the time is over."

"Yeah... Um... Chris, you mentioned something when you were drunk."

"Ugh, I still can't remember that! It's so annoying, what did I say?"

"You told me that you'd been having nightmares. It's part of the PTSD, right?" He stiffened and stared her down. She stared right back, forcing herself not to back down.

"When did you hear all that?"

"You told me a few minutes ago, remember? Hypnophobia, insomnia, PTSD." He scowled and turned away. She threw a pillow at his head, forcing him to turn back. She pat the space next to her on the bed and he sat down next to her, not saying anything. She turned his head to look at her and put her chin on her palm, waiting patiently for him to speak. It calmed him.

"My parents... Are and were very strange characters."

"Who do you want to start with."

"My dad is a lot less difficult. He was worse but better at the same time... It's complicated. I'll take it slow." He swallowed and began to talk about his father, Maurice. The man who watched him grow with indifference, only bothering to talk to him to insult him or tell him he was a mistake that should never have happened. He remembered the day Nino got akumatised and left him alone with his father. He never told Nino what happened but he told Manon everything. "I had to lock myself in my room so he wouldn't hurt me. I crawled out of the window to eat. Even then, he made sure I knew just how... useless I was."

His hands shook at his sides. "Chris..."

'I was so... Angry. For so many years." His breathing quickened. She told him to breathe and he took two deep breaths before going on. "He's out of my life now. We kicked him out of the apartment and he hasn't come back since but... I still have nightmares of him coming back. I was seven or eight when that happened and it kinda stuck..."

She took in a sharp breath. "And your mother?"

He chuckled. "You still want me to go on after all I've told you? Really?"

"Do you take me for a quitter?"

"You've always been a fighter doll. Nothing more, nothing less." She rubbed her shoulder, ignoring the statement. He cleared his throat. "Right. My mom. Yeah. I... I'm not sure if I can do this."

"You don't have to. I'm not forcing you or anything."

"I want to. She would have loved you. She really would've. She would've gotten down on her knees and thanked God for giving me someone like you and for having me live a life like this. She loved God so much..." Her voice softened.

"Who was she?"

"She was a prostitute. She did really, really bad things. Drugs, alcohol, anything to make the hell hole of a life we had to endure less depressing. Life was just... Really hard on her. When I look at Nino and the life I'm living, I feel loved... And guilty." She waited for him to speak, letting him know that she supported it by putting her head on his shoulder. "Yeah, Nino and I aren't actually related. I wasn't born to Maurice, black, narcissistic butthead. No, my actual father was black so I'm still biracial. But he was a lot worse than Maurice. He hit my mother and when my mother wasn't there, he would hit me. He would make me watch them make out and undress and have sex... Shit. I knew I wasn't ready."