SUMMERGIRL ||JungHoseok|| BangtanBoys

🌱|Wrong Move

Hobi POV

I feel mad.

Not to anyone but myself.

I've got a love and hate relationship within me...

about you.

I never told you "I love you."

Because I don't want you to think that I am easily swayed...

Deeper within, I felt like you needed to work harder for my love. My trust.

I needed to feel that you deserve me.

I like you. A lot.

And I want you to only think of me always.

I fell in love with you and at the same time, I hated you.

I felt so insecure...

Why must you be that bold?
Why must you know what you want?
Why must you know what to do?

Why must you be stronger than me?

I'm afraid that if we go through this trial shit, you might lead me on and realized one day that I'm not good enough.

And leave me because I'm the weaker person. That I cannot handle a relationship...

Like what Jinjiya did.

She left me for someone else.

And she's still not aware that I knew about that...

I needed to be an asshole to protect myself.

Until now, I can't trust the idea that you're really in love with me. I was thinking that maybe...

Maybe you wanted to prove yourself that it wasn't love after all but just some puppy love that you needed to shake off. I made all of this set up and gave you time to change your mind.

But you didn't.

You were quite persistent. You even followed me here.

Gave yourself to me...

Now my anxiety has gotten worse.

Because the moment I saw you for the first time again in years, that particular day in Jeju,

I fell in love with you.

Not some puppy love, but a love that a man feels for a woman.

I'm afraid. That one day, I will lose all this love and you, will find someone better.

Grace Emströng, I'm really sorry that I hurt your feelings. That my mom made you feel that way.

I hate myself more than you probably hate me by now.