Lettie was a troubled mother that moved hallway across the United States with the help of her best friend, Tanner Rodriguez. She was abused by her husband, Jace.
When her kids moved to Fayetteville NC she meet two people, Alexis and Derek. She start...
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"You have nothing to worry about." Derek whispers in my ear.
"I'm not a jealous person, but I am still afraid." I whisper as I sneak my around his waist and bury my nose in the crock of my neck.
I close my eyes and try to memorize the scent of his cologne and the lingering smell of his clean pressed fatigues.
"You say that you care about me and my heart thuds. It trusts that you will always choose me."
"But love, I got to confess that so far, no one else has. I'm not the jealous sort, but I've also not so lucky with that sort of thing." I confess.
"Stop thinking so hard about everything, stop over analyzing. Just go. Just do. If it feels right, just go with the flow. If it feels wrong, don't think about it anymore and walk away."
As I said that I would like to know what would be the cost of the realtionship. Would it be worth it? Would the kids be happy with it?
"It's not about who's there when you want them. It's about who's there when you need them. When your world has fallen apart and you're not sure how to start building the pieces back together. They'll be the ones to hand you the first brick."
You're not single because your standards are too high. Good for you for having standards. It's not because you didn't like that really, really good guy who wanted to take you on a date and you just weren't feeling it. And it's not because you like to wear pajama pants as soon as you get home and wash all the makeup off your face. You're not single because you didn't learn enough from the past or would rather chill on a Friday night with your blanket and a cold beer than shower, get ready, and go out. You're not single because something is wrong with you.
You are single because you are single. It's really as simple as that. You haven't made the connection with another heart yet. You can get dolled up, dress cute, cut your hair, dye your hair, tweeze your eyebrows, put on lipstick and you may still. be. single. You can go out to a bar hoping to meet the love of your life and not find a damn one in the place attractive. And it's going to remain that way until it's time for you to find one. Stop hoping for it. Start living the life that you do have instead of wishing for things that you don't have. There will come a time you'll meet a boy and you'll have to give up some of this single freedom you currently have. Start being more thankful. Start doing that now."
"Why are you so afraid of trusting me?" he whispers in my ear.
I wanted to tell him that it was because his words were too kind and his eyes were too blue. That his kisses were too sweet and his promises too unconditional. I wanted to tell him that it was because his love was too easy to fall into, and that if he left like the last one did I wouldn't know what to do. I wanted to tell him that if I put my all into him, he could just as easily leave with every piece of me. That I had just finally got those pieces back. I wanted to tell him, I wanted to. But I couldn't.
"I'm not going to be offended if you don't say it back," they said softly. "I love you. No pressure. You don't need to panic about it."
I hope that someday, somebody wants to hold me for twenty minutes straight, and that's all they do. They don't pull away. They don't look me in the face. They don't try to kiss me. All they do is wrap me up in their arms, without an ounce of selfishness in it.
"I knew I liked you, Derek, when you made me nervous, and my heart would beat faster when I saw you. I knew I loved you when I felt calmer with you than without you."
"I had a smile that men chased after and that's the kind of smile people never really forget. I had a smile that said the right words even if they hurt someone. I wore an apology under every breath and I won't always be there, but if I'm there for you; I'll always be there no matter what."
"And I'm in love with you. And it's not because it's twelve am at night and I haven't slept in over two days. It's because I am truly inconveniently in love with you. And It's not because I'm sad and I want to dissappear. It's because I just love you for simply being you. I love you at four am when I'm awake with nothing but my thoughts. I love you at ten am when I wake up with hope filled in my heart, hoping you'd text me. And I love you at three pm when I'm doing something and wishing you were there. I will continue on loving you. Tomorrow and the days that goes on after that and I'm in love with you." I whisper as a tear slides from my eye.
"You've become so damaged that when someone tries to give you what you deserve, you have no fucking idea how to respond."
"I can't breathe!' she cries out, making him take his hand off her arms.
"You're this perfect person, who says the right thing and does the right thing," her voice wavers before she takes a breathe, and stares into his eyes probably last the last time.
"And I'm messy, and clumsy. I can't wear white without dropping food on it, I laugh at inappropriate times, I say the wrong thing without meaning to. When I'm with you I try to be someone else. I try to be perfect and it is suffocating."
He doesn't move, it's probably for only a minute but to her it feels like a lifetime. Then he steps towards her with that slight smile that makes her knees so weak.
"I love that I have to hold you to stop you from falling in those ridiculous heels you wear. I love that you are the first girl I have dated that hasn't been afraid to speak her mind, even if you say something inappropriate. But most of all I love your laugh, you're eyes light up and you turn everyone's head," He pulls me into him, holding me gently against his chest.
"Don't you get it? You are perfect, I don't want you to be anyone else. Because you're a breathe of fresh air I don't want to be without."
