安元 // angen

o n e s h o t

Rowan. She didn't have a bad life, in her case, it was just boys crawling all over her until a couple years ago, her life started to change for the worst, boys started to stop, bully her and all around make fun of her, and for what did she care? All she knew is that they were just immature boys, all they wanted was attention, so she started to make online friends. They didn't know her past, even if they were fake she didn't care, love and affection overpowered real friends to her. Rowan's smile grew ear to ear almost everyday because of this boy she had met. His name was Nick. He was a pretty boy, that some people would nickname a "sad boy", Rowan would wake up everyday just to talk to him, she had a growing passion for this kid, Rowan begun to think of him during school, his words stuck in her head like sticky notes, they made her smile because Rowan had never felt actual affection for a human boy, who knows? Nick could be some 50 year old fuck who only wanted to see someone who was younger than 60. The glue from his words started to drip from her brain, it started to flood her, to the point where her grades would fall because the only thing she could think about was him, she started to internally scream, she started to threaten the kids at her school, the words fuck started to fall off her tongue at more and more kids in her school, they were just guards to her temple, it towered above them, her life, and her internals, her sanity and Nick stood at the top watching over them all like kings and queens, gods above the biosphere. Rowan's grades started to fall until it hit the solid rock at the bottom, her eyes started to glisten red at the sight of her and a mirror, her reflection to Rowan still looked like a princess, untouchable by anyone, but to anyone else, the only things that stood out were her deep eyebags consuming her eyes by the night, her skirt ripped up, her shirts are worn out, her shoes look like they were devoured by wolves, her hair looked like she had been sleeping for an eternity, but that was for sure not true, she looked like she was falling down a deep hole of obsession and envy, love, and insanity. Rowan didn't understand, Nick was hers and nobody else, if anyone tried to talk to him, she would act calm and respected, they didn't know what she was going through, she would politely ask them to stop, but that wasn't what she really meant, she wanted to heavily stomp on their rib cages, and let them splatter like a body falling from the sky, Rowan imagined them choking to death and losing air, she wanted to love them and hug them but they didn't know her arms were really nooses and knives, and now they were trapped in her casing, she owned them, they were her puppets, slowly falling apart every day, because she knew deep down she wasn't okay, but her love for Nick hid that, the only thing she knew was obsession, gluttony, jealousy, love, and a clouded mind. Rowan had fallen in obsessional love with a man whose face pulled a blank to Rowan,  she didn't know him or what he looked like, she only knew the voice that repeated in her mind almost every day, she couldn't find an escape but for what would she want to? Rowan was fine with only thinking about Nick every day, but little did Rowan know, she wouldn't, Rowan would find secrets that she would have never known. Time went by between their last texting session, but Rowan had thought of too many things about Angelo to ever forget about when they had last talked because she fucking loved him. This boy in Rowan's class who had frequently bullied her, telling her she's useless, incompetent, and she most of all just didn't deserve the place or time on this planet, he wanted her to choke to death, she could tell, because Rowan thought that way about many others herself. Rowan had heard that boy gossiping about this girl that he had lured into his trap, named Rowan. Rowan started to eavesdrop on their conversation, interested in whatever they were talking about. That boy's name was Angelo, a boy with slight facial hair and a little scruff to his voice, almost like Nick's. He had black shaggy hair and a face you couldn't forget. The Angelo boy spoke as his name was Nick. Rowan sat there and almost died internally, her blood, energy, and sanity were built upon this boy, and he wasn't the homeschooled, community service volunteer he had spoken of, but a trap luring her into failure and despise. Rowan held a picture frame of her and Nick in her hand, but she dropped it, sending her eyes to fall into a pitch blackness and start forming bloody tears, tears she didn't mean, but started to reflect into the blood of this man. Rowan ran over to Angelo and grabbed him by the neck, kicking her leg straight into his leg, sending his back rushing to slap against the multicolored tile, making blood ooze out of a wound on his stomach. Rowan held a tight grip around his neck. "Nick." Rowan repeated, the class staring at the violent and bloody sight, many teachers pets rushing for a teacher to save them from the bloody situation taking place on the ground. "You don't understand who I am, do you?" Rowan said, her eyes widened at the sight of him laid upon the blood covered tile. "I believe you're the Rowan I've met in a past life, correct?" Angelo said with a grin. "You shouldn't be smiling." Rowan said, reaching her arm out onto his heart, a knife forming in her hand slowly. "I loved you, Nick, Angelo, whoever I can call you." Rowan muttered.

"You did this to me." Rowan continued, bloody tears still flooding into her eyes. "I don't care where I go, hell or to some far-out world, as long as you get what you deserve," Rowan remarked, her face turning pale, quickly losing blood as the time went on. Rowan slowly leaned closer to Angelo, spreading the wound on his stomach further and further out. Blood began to tower on Rowan's hands, dripping into his mouth. "Do you really want to lose consciousness? Move on to the other world?" Rowan asked him with nonblinking eyes, staring straight into his. "I'm not sure if I want you to keep living or just keep consciousness, maybe I'll let you keep living in your mind." "Goodbye," Rowan said with a grin and a smile when both of them started fluttering up to the sky, leaving their bodies behind.

And then the credits roll.