When Its Meant To Be

CHAPTER 10: I Want You Back!

Warning: This chapter may contain excessive amount of drama...

July 13 2014

Dear Xander

I'm really sorry talaga kung I have been trying to avoid you ah! Sorry, for a whole month parang bigla na lang akong naglaho ng ganun-ganun na lang, walang paalam. Nakakainis ka kase MASYADO KANG MATAMIS! Yan tuloy montik na kong mahulog! Ayoko nga! Bawal! I don't want to be like my mother...

You see my father left us when I was a kid. Naala ko yung araw na yun, that day was my 9th birthday. As soon as I blew out my candles, he left. Leaving us with a note saying that if he continue this marriage his career as an artist will fall into the ground, oh di' ba? It runs in the family, takot kaming lahat mahulog. I used to love watching him work, tuwing bumibili siya ng bagong pintura nakaabang na ko sa may garage. If only you knew how beautiful every work of art starts. It was like from a simple white canvas, blooms a flower so beautiful you can't take your eyes off of it, as if it was hypnotizing you, mesmerizing your eyes, so beautiful. Not anymore, not today, not yesterday. He left 6 years ago, so it was beautiful then, ngayon, all I see is empty canvases, empty paint cans, and broken hearts

Recently, we received a post card. It was from Venice, Italy. Sabi niya that leaving us was the best decision he ever did, no regrets. May kasama pang invitation sa bago niyang Showcase entitled 'For Me, Myself, and I'. How selfish of a title that is, ano kayang mga nakalagay dun? Siguro puro self portait niya lang yun. Why even bother? Pero sa totoo lang I'd forgive him. I would forgive him for everything, if he would just come back and be my loving father again

I hate you lang kase, you made me feel this way. Nung last time that talked to you. I was at the verge of falling, malapit na konting push na lang so I did what I had to do. I see you've been talking to Violet, best wishes sana magkatuluyan kayo, Bagay kasi kayo eh...

-Dary

I close it, laying on my bed. I stared at the picture na naka-scotch tape sa ceiling ng room ko. It was our family picture. I looked at their smiling faces, smiles so genuine that it takes no effort to do. I looked at how happy they are, how happy the WERE.

I want that happiness back! No matter how hard for me to forgive dad, I want us to be happy again. (I know what you're thinking, masyado akong desperada...could you blame me?)

I closed my eyes as the tears flow to the sides of my face

(Umiiyak ka nanaman. Anong nangyari sa 'I promise na hindi ko na siya iiyakan EVER'? You have to let it go, Dary. Wala na siya and there is nothing you could do about it)

...

"No!" I said then found a yellow pad and pen

Dear Wilfred Reyes,

Hi dad! Thank you nga pala sa invitation ah! Sorry binilik ko sayo, medyo punit-punit kinuha kasi nung aso kahit wala kaming aso. Let me just ask you why? Bakit kailangan mo pang ipagyabang na mas okay ka nang nawala kami sa buhay mo? Good luck sa showcase! Sana walang pumunta para bumalik ka na saamin. Alam mo bang na-ospital si mama kasi montik na siyang mabaliw dahil sa sobrang depressed na siya? Tapos ngayon every time I offered to help her, she would get mad at me. Do you know how that feels? Wala akong magawa to help my own mother because of what you did! But you know what? I want you back dad, despite everything you've done, I want you back. Gusto kong maging masaya ulit! Since you've left, I felt emptiness. I miss you! WE miss you, PLEASE COME BACK!

-Sincerely your loving daughter, Dary Reyes

(Ipapadala ko to bukas, sakto Sabado) I stared at the picture again habang nakahiga lang sa kama still crying silently...