Crosses and Cages

Glimpse Into Nothing

Leaves are blowing across dead grass, a pile of corpses on one big corpse. The wind is just strong enough to be annoying, blowing my ratty waves of dark brown hair into my eyes. I always go through the trouble of brushing my hair, because each day I hope that it would show that I do in fact take care of myself, but by the end of the day, here I am, once again looking like some homeless mutt, just wanting someone's leftover scraps to naw on.

I'm sitting in the grass waiting for my brother to get done negotiating. It's simple process really, dad sends us with a message, one of us relays the message, if terms are met items are traded, solids for money, and we are on our way.

The wind is chilly considering the only thing I have to wear in a messed up KMFDM t-shirt and hand me down pants that fit fine, but have many holes in them from my brother wearing them before me. My head hurts, but I know that's probably because of the fact that I haven't eaten in a couple of days. It's also because the cold wind has been nipping at my ears for so long that they ache.

At just the right amount of time my brother comes back to me with a small skip in his step and a small, maybe real, smile on his face. "Ready to go?" He asks.

"As ready as always." I offer back the most likely to be fake smile and get up, my knees aching from staying in the same position for so long.

Our walk back to the house is quiet, because we both know that this past deal doesn't help us out at all. This deal is for dad and dad's problems. We will come after his problems, which makes sense to us. He needs to stay healthy in order to fund the home. If he can fund the home we will come after. We don't question it because we understand. We know that he is doing his best and that times are hard. We know that if he could have changed the way life ended up he would have. Granted we know that if life went the way he wanted it to, we wouldn't be here anyway...