RamPrompTime

And the Winner Eees (Prompt: Argument)

"... what will it take to get you to rid the house of cobwebs? An invitation from some blue-eyed blonde?" I turned in the direction of the familiar voice and smiled lazily.

You see, Sunday afternoons are meant for recharging. One must shun all initiative, resist the temptation to act, sit on the couch or on the bed and build up the reserves needed to face the week ahead. Saturday afternoons are no different and the ritual when done twice over two days helps double the reserve. And, there are only two species that don't understand that - spiders and wives. 

"A broom would do," I said, running my upper lip over my nostrils. 

"The children are around. Stop being obscene," She had misunderstood as usual. 

"My nose is itchy and..."

"You are scratching your nose with your lip? That's even more obscene. Stop doing that. Won't you as much as lift a finger to scratch your nose?" my wife was livid, and as they say anger blinds the angry (usage: similar to hungry) or something like that. And so, she hadn't noticed my using my hand to scratch the back of my neck. 

"My fate," she smacked her forehead when she finally did notice. "I had to get married to you of all the people. Is there something I can do to support your noble endeavour, you potato-sack?" 

"You could bring me some water..." I shrugged and proceeded to chamfer my inner lips with my tongue. These are hot, humid and musty days you see and with all the spiders, global warming and politics, one tends to lose one's sense of equilibrium. And, one gross action leads to another and that to another and so on. My wife smacked her forehead again. "If you keep acting weird I'll have to call my mother over to help me with the cleaning," she said and headed back to the kitchen.

Having won the argument, I jumped off the couch in joy, picked up the broom and started playing hockey with the spiders.