#flashback#
It's the start of freshman year and Ryan and I was on my bed just talking. We were talking about our day. Mine was pretty hard but Ryan seems so happy I don't want to ruin it.
" Hey, Emmy can I tell you a secret." He says laying down on my bed so he is facing me.
"Sure what are best friends for," I say sitting down in a criss-cross position.
"I have a crush on someone..." Right then I felt my heart drop. "It's Brittany" then I felt my heart crack. I kept my breathing even.
So the reason for my heartbreak is that I like Ryan. Since 7th grade.
I faked a smile. "Cool, since when have you had these feelings," I asked.
"Since the other day when she kissed me." He says his eyes glazed with happiness. My eyes started to tear up but I blocked out all of my emotions.
"Be careful I don't want you to get hurt. Your my best friend seeing you happy makes me happy. Seeing you sad will destroy me" I give him a sad smile. "I'm happy for you"
He looks up at me and smiles. He gives me a hug then lays back down. "So how was your day?" He asks staring at the ceiling.
"Great I'm thinking of joining the music club," I say
"You should your voice beautiful." I blushed at the compliment.
"I meant the music club playing the guitar or bass not singing," I say looking at my desk.
"Either way your very talented." Then he closes his eyes. I get up from my bed and head towards my desk and read online while Ryan takes a nap.
#the next day#
I went to school in leggings and a sky blue hoodie that Ryan gave me for my birthday. It has '#1 Best friend' at the front. At the back, it has a design with our names. And some light blue converse.
Walking to the front gates I see the guys and walk closer to them. "Wassup people. " I say wrap one arm around Ryan's neck and the other around Jake's so that I'm hanging.
Lilly, Lucy, and Max laugh, while Jake and Ryan keep me from falling. "Get off you ape," Jake says.
"Hey, I'm lighter than all those football players that tackle you," I say standing up straight.
" yeah, you weigh like 20 pounds. Do you even eat?" Ryan says.
I stay quiet then reply. " Of course I do."
"Anyway, I have an announcement to say," Ryan says getting the group's attention. " I'm going to ask Brittany to be my girlfriend." At those words, my heart shattered. But I kept my face happy.
The guys looked at me with a pitied look. I just smile at them. I check the time and see I have 10 minutes before homeroom. "Well I'm happy and everything but I gotta go. I need to use the restroom before homeroom. Bye," I don't wait for a reply and just leave.
I walk into the washroom and stare at myself in the mirror for a couple of seconds. Something I do before crying is pep-talk me into not crying then fail but it's still worth a shot.
"I'm not gonna cry. I am strong. I can do this. I control my emotions NOT the other way around," were the last words I said before tears started to run. Even while crying I try to make me stop. "Happy thoughts bunnies, puppies, kitties, babies," I started to cheer up a bit. I wash my face and head to the nurse's office.
"Hey, Emma are you okay? Did they do it again." Ms.Smith the nurse asks.
"No not today but my head and stomach hurt may I go home early please," I ask her my voice cracking.
" Sure honey, go home and get some rest," she says and hands me a slip. I give it to the office lady and walk home. For the rest of the day, I stayed at home getting my head away from those feelings and distracting myself. Only getting out to pick up Alex from school.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The next day I woke up tired and feeling alone. I couldn't sleep because of the arguing downstairs. Luckily I got Lexi asleep before they got home. I grabbed some clothes and went into the shower. I was wearing black leggings and a black tank top with an extra-large black hoodie on top. I grabbed some black vans and went to Alex's room.
Once I got her ready for school and ate breakfast we left. I grabbed some sunglasses and put them on, then lifted the hoodie so that most of my face was covered. I left Alex at school then headed to my school.
Arriving I walk pass everyone. I just wanted to get the day over with and go home. But someone grabbed my backpack and pulled me. I had no energy to fight at all so I just let them. Once they finished dragging me I looked up to see my friends. I sigh,
"What," I say with no emotion at all.
"Where were you yesterday," they ask.
"Somewhere," I say in the same voice.
"Okay anyway guess what, " Ryan says excitedly. He doesn't wait for a reply and says, " She said yes"
Right on cue Brittany walks up to us and goes to Ryan's arms. They kiss which broke my heart even more. Today hasn't even started and I'm already tired, depressed, and want it all to end.
"I'm hungry I'mma go to the cafeteria. Bye" I say and walk away. Lilly and Jake behind me. I give them questioning looks but they just give me that 'don't ask' look.
I grab a donut and a hot chocolate from the cafeteria and sit on one of the benches. Jake and Lilly follow. "I'm sorry" is all they said.
"For what you guys didn't do anything wrong," I say, Montone.
"Don't pretend around us we know you like Ryan," Lilly warns.
" So what if I like him it doesn't matter. He has a girlfriend and lives happily. As long as he's happy I'm okay." I say looking down at my hot chocolate.
"You can try and lie to us but it won't work. You put on this facade that you are happy, which by the way you suck at when in reality you're broken inside sad and want to let it out." Jake says.
" It doesn't matter anymore. My feeling is the least I think about right now. I have other things I need to solve. Then I will check if there is anything for me to be happy. Right now I'm throwing away any feelings that will harm me or others." I say taking a deep breath and stand up. " I'm just going to care for everyone as I did as a child. Not as a hormonal teenager. I need to grow up." I then leave the cafeteria heading to homeroom.
The next couple of months I kept to myself. Focusing more of my attention to my 6-year-old sister and my studies. All the while my friends enjoyed life. We would still talk at school just not hang out like we used to.
2 months before summer Brittany cheated on Ryan at a party. We had all went so that we had a memory of a crazy fun night before summer. I just
needed to let loose for a night.
The next few weeks I was there to help him. He was hurt badly. Sometimes I had to wake up at 2 in the morning to pick him up from a bar or club.(had to take the car with only having a couple driving lessons) He would be so drunk that I couldn't take him home he would have been in so much trouble, so I took him to my house. My room was basically his.
I felt horrible both emotionally and physically. I hadn't had a good night sleep in days and I felt bad for him. He is such a nice guy, he doesn't deserve this. At least I had my best friend hanging around more often.
AR~wassup people!
Having a wonderful life I hope.
So what do you guys think? Good? Bad?
Stop writing or keep going?
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Love you all💓✌
~a.r.
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Once my Bestfriend
Novela JuvenilEmma Ryder is an average teenage girl. Minus she doesn't have any friends. She had a bestfriend. Ryan Simms. She liked him as in more than just a friend until all her hope was broken when he got a girlfriend.They had to go separate ways because of...
