I killed my mate [in process, please be patient]

Ferris Wheel

“Hearts are wild creatures; that is why our ribs are like cages.”

I've never had a dreamless night, but I've never had a nightmare. Not even after my dad was killed because my heart only wanted to see the good from my dad's memories, and my brain only complied; but now, it's totally the opposite.

The too much thinking has made my heart suffocate of the worst case scenarios, and I'm not even facing them yet. How will I fall in love in only one month? And not even, how will I fall in love period. I don't believe in that anymore, not since him. I believe in one night stands, I'm all for it, but love?

I scoff, "yeah right"

My rib cages are not bone made anymore, they are now made of steel and they don’t allow anything entering or invading the space my heart occupies; and that is why I won’t love, I just have space left for loving myself.

I gasp and think I won’t survive the blood moon

Of course you will, don’t be ridiculous, you won’t let such a thing as love stop you, says Karma

You’re right, I think, “I won’t,” I say out loud to let the determination lace on my voice

“You won’t what?” says Melissa behind me

I put my hand over my fast beating heart, “Mel you scared me”

“Sorry A, but the guys are arriving soon”

“Wow that was fast,” I say truly surprised by how fast this Alpha’s run to get more power

Early morning today, after I spoke with Alec I went to my room and took a long shower. I couldn’t help but think in the comfort of my bed, how things will turn out to be. I start imaging my death because of the lack of love in my life, and I could even picture Daniel across the country celebrating with little trophy fake mate, Layla. I had this odd feeling spreading across my chest, trying to tell me something but I couldn’t figure it out, it was like a pleasurable heat flowing towards my heart but there was like a stone or a brick wall in the current that it made only the smallest quantity of the liquid go through.

“A,” says Mel, “you are spacing out,” she pauses, “again”

“Sorry, what were you saying?”

“The guys are arriving soon, but not here, we are meeting them halfway”

“Halfway? What do you mean?” I ask excited, “oh my god Mel, we are traveling? Finally!” I jump around her, like a ten years old kid.

Ever since I got here, ever since my father died I wanted to accomplish what he told me to. Travel my child, travel as far as you can and for as long as possible, because only traveling can fill your soul, the people you’ll meet on the way will give you the love you have not received, it won’t be forever, but I’ll fill you for a few days.

 

Melissa snaps her fingers in my face and sighs frustrated, “I can’t keep on with your spacing A, you’ll have to handle that,” she pauses and massages her temples, “I’ll already had someone pack for you, so there is no need for you to waste time in packing”

“But I don’t even know where we are going, and what if they packed something I don’t like? Or what if they pack just clothes for training and not for going out?”