just a dream (camren)

thirty nine

June 3rd, 2017

"I don't like the idea of being stuck in high school without you."

Lauren laughs. "I've still got another week. This is just prom. Besides, you'll have Dinah."

Camila shrugs. "You're my girlfriend, though. And I meant it when I said I feel like this is the only context I could have you in. Once you move to college you might find someone better or-"

"First of all, there's nobody better," Lauren is quick to tell her, studying the younger girl carefully. Any time Camila is open and happy around her, Lauren worries that she's forgotten. "You're the most beautiful girl I've ever seen. We've been through so much together that we're basically connected for life. Like you said. Something in us knew, and something in us will always know."

Camila's face sinks into a frown. "I said that?"

Lauren's stomach drops. "Yeah, you did. In an Instagram post."

"Oh," Camila frowns, shaking her head, "but... just, promise me you're not going to dump me when you go off to college."

"Camz, I might not go to college," Lauren points out, "we might figure things out before that. We might get back by then."

Camila sends her a disbelieving look. "Lauren. I can barely remember anything. I'm going to- to forget. Just like Lucy did."

"Even if you do, I promise I'm going to do everything I can to make you remember." Lauren says. "You made me remember. Maybe I can do the same for you."

"Maybe we were right when we thought we were cancelling each other out. Ever since you and Dinah remembered, Lucy and I forgot faster," Camila points out, frowning. "You told me you forgot everything on the day I came here."

"But I'd been forgetting before that," Lauren points out with a long sigh. "It can't be that. You and Lucy... maybe it's not like Lucy thought. Maybe it's not down to you. It could be that you guys got sent here to make Dinah and I remember again, and now we've remembered. You forgetting could be you going back."

Camila frowns. "I still don't get why Lucy thought it was down to me."

"I don't know," Lauren shrugs, "she thought maybe you'd have to make some kind of choice to go back."

"But what about you guys?" Camila asks, sitting up in surprise. "What about how I'm forgetting? If it were all down to me, I wouldn't be forgetting everything right now. The worst part is like... I know this isn't me. I know I don't belong here. But I can barely remember why. I know the things you've told me, and I know the things I've written down, but like Lucy said, there's a difference between looking at words on a page and saying yeah, I did that, and actually remembering I did it. And I don't remember."

Lauren stares at her for a moment, trying to think of a good explanation for that, but she's at a loss for words. It's likely that Lucy had been wrong; if this whole thing was all about Camila, why had she and Dinah been brought here first? Maybe it's the way Lauren had suspected; they need to fix their friendship, because of how strained the group dynamic had been before she woke up here. Before Camila left the group.

"I don't know, Camz," Lauren admits eventually, sighing. "I don't know what's going on. I wish I did. But I promised you I'd do everything I can to make you remember. You did the same for me."

"But I wasn't trying to," Camila frowns down at her feet. "It just happened."

"Well, yeah, but it was like... a significant event." Lauren reasons. "Right? We slept together for the first time in any universe. We'd never done that. We'd never gone past kissing."