just a dream (camren)

fifty three

August 18th, 2017

"I need your help."

Lauren raises her eyebrows, turning around to look at the bedroom door her girlfriend had just burst through. "Don't you knock? I could've been naked."

"I'm your girlfriend, I'm allowed to see you naked." Camila rolls her eyes, but then her face sinks into a frown. "Wait, were you sleeping?"

"I was working this morning," Lauren shrugs, "needed a nap. Anyway, what's up?"

Camila sends her a bashful smile, sitting down on the bed and squeezing her girlfriend's hand. "Sorry. I kind of forgot you were still doing that."

Lauren just shrugs. "It's fine. But you said you needed my help?"

"With Ally," Camila elaborates, collapsing against Lauren's pillows with a sigh. Lauren just smiles, before laying back down and snuggling up with her girlfriend. "It's like, every time I try to text her or call I have no idea what to say. It's just intimidating, because Ally never gets upset, but she is upset with me."

Lauren frowns when Camila stops talking. "So... where do I come in?"

"I don't know, I guess I need you as like... my buffer or something," Camila frowns up at the ceiling. "Maybe... maybe you could say all these amazing things about me and Ally will be like oh yeah, obviously Camila is BFF material and I should stop being mad at her!"

"I don't think Ally's really mad at you," Lauren muses; the only time she'd ever seen Ally genuinely angry had terrified her. No, Lauren thinks, she's definitely just upset, "I just think she's a little... sad at how fucked up things were between us all. If you show you're really making an effort, then maybe it'll all sort itself out."

"But, I mean... I think I fixed things with you and Dinah through the other versions of you... or, well, you when you couldn't remember," Camila tries to explain, and Lauren just looks at her in confusion, not really knowing what she's talking about. "And... and me and this Mani made friends, and we know that it was really Mani all along, she just didn't remember! And then when we realised they both remembered and we talked, she was less upset at me."

"This Mani and I," Lauren easily corrects her, ignoring Camila's eye roll and faint mutter of grammar queen, "and I don't think that's the case. I was never angry at you. I just felt awkward because of our history. And you stayed friends with Dinah the whole time. I think you're just... trying to make links that aren't there to your whole theory that this is somehow all your fault."

Camila seems to tense next to her, and Lauren worries that she's struck a nerve. But then, her girlfriend sighs and gives her a small squeeze around the waist. "I just... worry sometimes."

Lauren raises her eyebrows. "You don't still think all of that, do you?"

Camila bites down on her bottom lip, a guilty look in her eye. "No."

"Camila," Lauren fixes her with a look, and Camila sighs dramatically. "It's not your fault, okay? For all we know, it's-"

"It's all my fault, Lo," Camila mumbles, "I just know it. It's my fault."

"Okay. Tell me why," Lauren says, kissing the soft tan skin of Camila's neck. "Tell me why you think that. Not all erratic and crazy, either. Just calmly explain."

Camila bites down on her bottom lip. "Well, I mean, you and Dinah... both thought you'd lost me. I know that's not the main reason you showed up here, because obviously you got outed and that's when you woke up here, but before. You said that when you told me about you dating Lucy... you said that..."